The narcissist manipulator types use such treatment as the Silent Treatment and Ignoring the Victim at certain times causes the victim to try even harder to be in the good books with the manipulator.
The victim has no idea that he or she is being manipulated or that they themselves are victims.
The victim just feels that if there is any fault in the relationship it must be their own fault and that they should be very grateful for the manipulator for putting up with them.

The narcissist manipulator deliberately keeps the emotions of the victim confused and unbalanced so that the victim does not recognize emotions for what they are and has no idea how to use them when the victim feels emotions rising from being exposed to the manipulator.

A person can feel a strong desire to work for friendships or attention, or to be loved and so on when he or she may feel not worthy or somehow inadequate. A child does this to get attention/acceptance from his or her mother and father, or from other adults.
Because the victim lacks maturity the adult victim often see’s life as a child in many ways, innocent, humble, anxious in the adult world and fearing repercussions for what he or she does (especially around the narcissist).

Example:
You walk into the room to talk to the manipulator. The manipulator is reading and see’s your eagerness to be accepted by the manipulator, the decides to use it against the victim.
So the manipulator listens for a while and then deliberately starts to read his or her book “while you are talking” as if to send the message to the victim that the victim is not worthy, not good enough, and that to please the person who you think you love (the manipulator) the victim must try harder.
A confident person would react as an unconfident person would. A confident person could read this example and think that the victim is a fool.
But what needs to be considered is that anyone living with a narcissist manipulator will never be confident and will lack mental stability, easily be in irrational fear, also having depression and anxiety, and in being so prepared to only submit, the victim desperately tries to be on the good side of the manipulator.

The victim see’s that the narcissist is his or her friend and tries to submit to be accepted because the victim knows that this pathetic behaviour keeps the narcissist happy. Being somewhat afraid of life the victim has no problem with the narcissist manipulator making the choices for the victim, because the victim fears making choices for his or her self.

The victim could be in a conversation with the manipulator and the manipulator cuts off the conversation (only when the victim is talking) and starts to read their cell phone or makes a call, or turns on the TV, or starts talking to someone else.
The victim, worried that he or she is being ignored (instead of getting angry) tries even harder to please the manipulator by often going overboard.

The manipulator can even be nasty, sarcastic about the victim being weak and pathetic, and even then the victim will try even harder to be accepted. it has become the victims common-response to crawl for attention or be a doormat for the narcissist to wipe their feet on and use and abuse at their pleasure.

The object of the manipulator is to keep the victim constantly wanting attention, love and acceptance so that the victim does not realize what is really going on.

Because the victim is so eager to please and be accepted, the victim can be told lies by the manipulator and the victim will always believe them due to fear of being outcast and rejected. This is one way that the manipulator can have affairs, tell lies about people and keep the victim in control.

Because the victim does not know who his or her enemy is the victim is easily controlled, used and abused.

All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
22nd of October, 2021.