The feel-good-feeling is a reason why so many people get caught up in bad relationships.
They meet someone from the past, maybe school, or someone new, and immediately they are feeling good with this person, the conversation is light and the other person is throwing some compliments your way.
It is like this because the relationship is new, “light“, both hide their own baggage from each other, both wanting to get on, impress, feel good about this something new, and neither has fought yet with the other, or shown differences, and neither knows if the other has dark secrets, or dark ideas about the relationship with the other.
In other words this new thing is two people faking a character that they want to expose/reveal to the other, and keep things light, fluffy, cute and fun,. And this is done to hide who they really are, what their real intentions are, and what they really would like to do with you.
This gets ones guard down and unknowingly boundaries are being taken down (just this once, for this special person who makes me feel so appreciated, liked and is so genuine etc) and they are allowing themselves to be seduced, used and abused and then chucked away for someone else in the future.
This is why they say that love is not a feeling, it is the whole deal.
Many things today are substituted for love or are seen as genuine love, and people let their guard own, allow themselves to be taken in (even by their own mind that wants to find happiness in another person so it fakes it or accepts what it can , to call it love) , seduced and before they know it they are in a relationship that will be 5 years of misery because they really didn’t know the other person at all.
In fact the most perfect types that are excellent actors and actresses are the Narcissist abusers.
They will make their victims feel oh so good, so appreciated, loved, and wanted. Its called laying the bait and then later they go for the kill once they have their victims full adoration and commitment.
A person may feel swept off their feet by someone and find out years later that they should have gone into the relationship with their eyes wide open, done their homework and found out more about the other person.
This feel-good-feeling is also a reason that many fall for having affairs. Life seems hard, they are feeling down and have felt like this for a while and then someone comes along and dazzles them with all the right words, easy go feeling, compliments are said and the victim just gives their total self to this person who they either don’t know or hardly know. A recipe for disaster.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
26th of October, 2018.