by James M Sandbrook
Love is a “need”, not a want.
We, in modern society, have been groomed to believe that we can choose love or refuse it. And sure without heartfelt love we will get by, but as it is with all “needs” we will suffer and be incomplete without it.
We have been groomed to believe that we need money, the reality is that we may need a thing to do something (a cooking pot, or a hammer etc) and modern society has been constructed in such a way that we are told that we “must” buy it.- Monday, 20 August 2018, 5:34:24 PM.
Love is such a tender emotion. I know nothing that would satisfy me more than real love from a woman who wanted me for what I am and for what she and I would be as the future unfolded.
♥
But I am willing to wait, (we all should wait). Those that know me closely know I never talk about females and show no personal interest in any. Women to me are people. If we are mature enough to see the opposite gender as people and not sexual objects then we really show them respect and value a friendship and a relationship with them.
When true love comes the feeling is the total opposite, we delight in the sight of that person, and we want to be with that person all the time. But our love focus is totally and completely on only that one person and no thought ever crosses our mind of any romantic or sexual contact with any other person for the rest of our own life.
I cannot tell you what to do, that is up to you. Your heart knows.
Do be careful. If you have doubts think on those doubts for a while, there is no rush. Getting to know the man is good. That way you can find out about each other and what you both like and be even closer and if it feels wrong then it can be ended while still friends.
When falling in love I recommend waiting until God shows you the one. We get many offers and sometimes many at once and this makes life the more confusing. We also get peer pressure.
Loneliness can make us desperate to date someone and family members can guide us to doing things we shouldn’t do and away from God until we become like them.
Only you can really know if the relationship is right for you. Your heart feels what is right or wrong. If the person is constantly on your mind then there is a situation that needs addressing. Always deal with the other person with kindness (like most people I know the deep pain of rejection, its not nice) and care. We are all people and are all traveling through life together.
We should never go into a relationship with too many expectations instead we should do it as God suggests, do it right, take time to think and get to know one another. Pray and meditate on the relationship.
When it comes to love always be gentle with the other persons heart and with your own.
I wish you well in this and hope that something good comes from it if that is what you both want. Be true to yourself, that is very important.
♥
Being true to yourself means don’t let yourself down and be a part of something that will make you feel bad about yourself later, be true to you because you are special and you need to keep yourself special and lead yourself to a future that you deserve, a future of love and happiness. God Bless you!
♥
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
December 24, 2010
Advice I gave a woman about love. Modified.
Remember, love is not about money, fame, or adoration from people or material gain. Life is about living in spiritual life for one another.
The lifting spiritual nature of a person is showing caring, charitable, gentle caring love for others.
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This is why a person can try to teach a dog to hate a good person, (and at times the dog is under great pressure from its owners to obey and conform, the dog does as it is told, for a while) and in the end the dog just cannot help itself in being nice to the nice person.
The connection between the good person and that dog is spiritual. It is not based on being fed food, it is based on the genuine spiritual connection between two spiritual beings who love one another.
In the end the dog simply cannot help itself showing affection for someone the dog loves. Expressing and feeling love is a natural phenomenon.
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Spiritually blind humans base too much of love on material gain, words, pats on the back of encouragement etc, and they think that if they teach hate that hate will be the everlasting result, but in the end the spiritual feelings of love come back.
When two spiritual beings love one another that love will always keep shining through all the darkness that life teaches us. Love comes through because “Love is in within our spiritual being”, hate is only of the mind and can go away with time – hate is built on the surface like a woman’s makeup. Hate is superfluous, a dark covering, it can be removed.
And when the hate goes away, back comes the genuine feelings of love to overwhelm the soul of the spiritual being. And actions come from that love, just as actions come from hate.
Hate can be taught, and while it is there people are controlled by it, they are slaves to its dark evil ways. But as hate fades then love shines through as the dark clouds fade away and people see things and feel like as their heart really is.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Tuesday, 5 April 2016, 12:27:55 PM
The sooner we begin to love ourselves honestly then we will open our spiritual heart honestly to love someone else!
When that times comes we will care so much about ourself that we won’t want to see ourself hurt so we will protect ourself and avoid people that may hurt and abuse us.
We will care about the future and our part in it.
Love does that to people. Love makes us want to be with loving people. Love makes us want to be with strong and able people who offer security in their life of honesty and truths. People who want to know about spiritual love get closer to God in all that they think say and do. God is Love! Learn about it!
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
March 6, 2013.
Marriage is more than finding the right person. It is being the right person – Author Unknown.
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“Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.”- T Mullen .
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While You’re Busy Looking For The Perfect Person, You’ll Probably Miss The Imperfect Person Who Could Make You Perfectly Happy. – Author .Unknown.
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“Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect. If it’s not based on respect, nothing that appears to be good will last very long.” – Amy Grant.
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It doesn’t matter what she looks like, her face, hair, clothes, and other physical attributes don’t matter – its what you see in her eyes that bring her beauty to you – this is where she shines – here is her real worth, here is her deep inner sensitive love. God made her like this. Genesis Chapter 2, verse 18:
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
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“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” – Friedrich Nietzsche.
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Missing Love!
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Hugs are nice, and arriving home and there is someone to greet you at the door with a smile, a kiss, a hug, or even a, “Hurry up, we are late!” are things that are missed and we can wish for.
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Someone to talk to late at night, to care for, to go shopping with, to tell silly stories to, and to hug while in tears because today was just a bit too much.
Someone to keep you warm on chilly nights, to laugh with, to cry with, to share those jokes that are not really funny with, and those tender moments at a serious meeting, hospital, doctors where our fingers touch just to let the other know that someone is there for the other no matter what they must go through.
What you go through, I go through. Together, we are one.
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Love is Spirit.
Love is the glue that holds all things together.
Love is what holds the hearts of kindred spirits in harmony so that they both hear an invisible soundless beautiful music that no one else can hear.
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Going through life lonely is hard, sad, sometimes depressing, so it is so nice to have someone there all the time, to care, share and face a fear with you, too hold us up, just to be there.
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Love is what life is all about.
The wise know the value of love, the wise reach for love, the wise never let true spiritual love from the heart slip away.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
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Lies and deceptions that the enemy uses to destroy marriages:
1. I just don’t love him/her anymore.
*Love is not just a feeling- It’s a choice. You can create and get feelings back.
2. She/he just doesn’t meet my needs and never will.
*Love is laying one’s self down for another.
3. We fight so much. It would be better for the children.
*Divorce causes even more brokenness especially in children and teens. Get counseling and take classes to change the unhealthy behavior.
4. I’m in love with someone else.
*Leaving him/her for someone else is adultery. It’s wrong and God can’t bless an ungodly relationship.
5. I’ve tried fixing our marriage and it just doesn’t work.
*You can do all things thru Christ who gives you strength. Stop trying to do it by yourself.
6. It’s been so long since we have been happily married. It’s never going to get better.
*All marriages go thru difficult seasons. You need to choose to honor your vows…”For Better or worse…”
7. I’m not sexually attracted to him/her anymore.
*Get emotionally connected to your spouse again and the sensual feelings will return.
8. We both have changed. We are two different people. It can’t work.
*Learn to appreciate and value your differences. Find a common ground and start there. God created woman and man to be different to balance each other out.
9. There’s just been too much trust broken. I can’t trust him/her again.
*Trust can be repaired. It can be healed. it takes work. Remember your vows and fight for your marriage.
10. I’m so confused. I don’t know what’s God will or not concerning our marriage. *Remember confusion is not from God. The enemy is a spirit of confusion. Renew your mind with reading the word of God. If you lack wisdom ask God for it and He will give it to you. His word promises.
– Ruby Wives,
Jenny Williams.
Copyright 2013.
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“Often romantic relationships fail because you are trying to get someone to fall in love with the YOU that you never discovered.” – Shannon L. Alder.
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“All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest–never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership.” – Ann Landers.
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When asked if she and her husband always agreed on everything, she said, “My goodness, no! If we did, there would be no need for one of us!” – Ruth Graham.
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Some thoughts I have on love:
“True love is two people willing to work around each others problems until each ones “ups and downs” become their interesting characters.”
Having love, being love makes us complete to fulfill our destiny together. Two are better than one. Two makes life sharing so much more important and fun. Sharing life with someone else becomes a spiritual journey surrounded by spiritual comfort and serenity.
Simply walking the streets arms linked in belonging, or hands held in “this is so a awesome, I am with you” and it’s all about belonging to someone else and feeling good and relaxed just being in their space. It is comforting being with that person.
Love is not about an intense fling for an afternoon, love is about a long-lasting joy with someone who is an awesome friend, a great partner, a companion to share with, and be with in all totallness.
Love can be worn in ones heart day and night whether they be together or apart, and yet still have that comforting feeling of being content, and that no matter what happens they can deal with it together.
Simple touches, secret glances, special smiles, knowing looks and living as if every moment together is some special secret life you both live.
Being in love is, we hurt together, we go down together, we rise triumphantly together, we are one together. We share, because we care. Being in love is “being real, strong and courageous together” it is holding each other up when one is feeling so down.
Spiritually love fills two souls with a meaning to live, feeling wanted, needing someone, having someone need you. This is what makes life complete. It is what we live for. The human need to feel love cures many illnesses and brings great comfort to the soul when true love is found.
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The nicest words you could hear other than “I love you!” are probably “Welcome home, please stay!”
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
August 9, 2012.
A woman can be so amazenly attractive on the outside and to me she is stunning, but if she starts using foul language, talking people down, gossiping, demanding, pushing, man I want out that door as soon as I can.
Narcissist women can look good, act nice in public, but at home selfish, arrogant, putting herself before the children and before everyone.
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But a good woman. She is fair, fun, tries, isn’t perfect but that’s cool (because I ain’t perfect either), and puts an equal effort into the relationship, home, etc, she is soooo good to me to be my woman, and I return the loving with respect for her awesomeness.
Nothing kills a sweet relationship like a woman who tries to be a man, who is in your face all the time, is demanding, insecure and a bully. Any man’s gonna leave that, it is common sense.
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No male or female needs to be the boss. It is all about being in each others space, enjoying the company, loving each other all day long. Good loving is sharing the same ideas, doing things with each other because that is where each other wants to be. Good loving is standing up for each other. Hugs, simple yet meaningful kisses, a touch of the hand, catching the others eye to share a secret joke, a wink that promises better things to come, a massage, a gentle touch that only two can understand, listening, holding, hugging and at the end of the day, alone time together.
Good loving is spiritual and an all day experience that cannot be explained, just felt, experienced and enjoyed.
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When you find the right one, learn from the experience, don’t let it go.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Sunday, 1 May 2016, 2:53:44 PM.
I suggest to a person when he or she is going to marry to make sure that they have the right person.
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One reason I ask this is that while they wear the ring attaching them to someone and they are having sex with the person that he or she married, he or she will also (possibly often) see the person who he or she rejected, they will hear about that person in general conversation, and will possibly come across that person at events and the like.
I ask them, “Can you deal with that?”
Then I ask, “Are you really marrying the person you love, or are you just doing “the popular thing by pleasing family, friends and the crowd?”
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Some of the most amazing marriages came from a male and female who turned against everyone’s opinions and views and followed their hearts.
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So if you are thinking of marriage, please consider how you would feel the day after your marriage and then seeing the person you rejected walking down the street. If the thought means absolutely nothing to you then it seems that you have made the right choice.
Always make the choice of marriage according to the spiritual love of your own heart, or you will regret your choice forever. People who say that it has nothing to do with feelings have no idea what they are talking about. If you see the person who you really love walk by while you are married and “you feel completely miserable” then you have clearly made a bad choice and your feelings are devastated.
Remember, God is spirit, God is love, God is obviously spiritual love. God’s connection with you is in your spiritual heart, so if you love someone from deep within your heart, then that is obviously who God wants you to marry (regardless of that person’s status in life).
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Friday, 8 July 2016, 11:16:18 AM.
I remember it was a child who accurately diagnosed his parents marital ills.
“Mother”, he asked,” What does ‘married’ mean?”
“Why, it means mothers and fathers promise to love and honour each other all the rest of their lives,” that mother answered.
“Then you and Daddy aren’t always married are you?” he countered.
– Margaret B Johnston. (Author and Counsellor).
Luke Chapter 17, verse 26-28:
And as it was in the days of Noe, so shall it be also in the days of the Son of man. They did eat, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark, and the flood came, and destroyed them all.
Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they builded;
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The first time I heard this verse I was confused. I thought, “What’s wrong with getting married, of course they got married.” Then I wondered what God could possibly see wrong with people getting married.
Years later I realized that there are two types of marriage. God’s version and humankind’s version.
In the days of Noe (Noah) the people were not spiritually matched by God, but physically and mentally matched by humans – a huge difference between a God Blessed marriage and the human version of marriage.
All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
Monday, 20 August 2018, 5:34:48 PM