Civil War
When two groups meet, and they disagree, yet once upon a time they were in cahoots with one another – of one mind, a war can be the result of a conflict of interest.
It becomes war when one side realizes that the other side will never be fair, will never do the right thing, and is not being clear, honest and bending the rules of the two groups heavily in their favour.
Often, the side that is being abused is the oppressed side, rebels, people who have finally after years of trying to get things right have finally had enough. They finally realize that nothing is going to change if they stay with the other group and support them. It is an awakening, a clear knowledge that the years of suffering that they were put through by the other group is for nought, nothing, and the agreements have all been heavily one-sided, heavily in favour of the more powerful group.
The war erupts when the victims realise that they need to take matters in to their own hands and deal with the situation themselves, and in the process eliminating the other group to achieve their own goals which were previously being choked off. This is also the time when the rebels realise that they have much more power than has been suggested, and that for years their confidence, courage, faith in themselves and their abilities, were deliberately limited by the other group so that they would never break away and fight for what is right.
Like the American Civil War and the fight against Slavery and the English control. The people wanted to be free to make their own choices, and do things in the new land in a way that they themselves, as rebels/people wanted life to be, and so they took up arms and fought for what they believed in, and they won.
Generosity and Guilt Are Connected.
Causality
1. the relationship between cause and effect.
2. the principle that everything has a cause.
Victory at the expense of the innocent – is no victory at all.
One of our workers had an accident last night. I covered for this person and did their work as well as my own last night. But sadly I was told this person resigned today. So we are one person short, and have a car that may be written off. 🙁
Colin said, that for now the company will continue, but he and I were wondering if Brett would shut it down.
The governments make billions of dollars every year on sex, and that is why they won’t crack down of the use of sex to sell basically anything, or stop it for moral decent family reasons.
The more you, your family, and the communities are addicted to sex (after being flooded with sex in movies, TV, books, magazines, advertising, the Internet, Porn and so on) the more money the government makes in taxes, or any investment sin dubious areas of business.
In the US the people are terrified of the government taking guns from them, yet as a mass of addicted people they cannot comprehend that they are sexual addicted, because this addiction to sex has been going on for so many decades it has now, like abortion, bad language, acceptence of immoral activities and so on, that the public as a whole think that the sex cravings that they have, the sex toys that they own and use often, the porn, sex affairs and so on, are normal human life.
Decent wholesome family living has become so cleansed from the human soul the modern humans cannot tell the difference between good and evil, and if they are told that their evil cravings are bad for them and their families they laugh as if the person trying to war and help them is insane, when it is in fact the person partaking happily in evil activities who has the mental issues and a serious lack of understanding of what is good for he or she and their own family.
I have read that when we greet people for the first time our Spirits see each other through our eyes, or to put it another way, we can recognise Spirits that we knew before we were born, and Spirits who we were meant to meet during our life who would help us during our life Journey or we would help that person in their Life Journey, and as many have said since the beginning of the human race, we meet because our Spirits who vowed to marry on Earth finally find each other and instantly the two people are deeply in love.
Also, many books going back to ancient times claim, and I do believe this, that very strong and powerful Spirits walk alongside of us because we have important work here on Earth to complete, and God will not let people do us harm before the job is done.
Thus, if we are approached by the many who are haters, outnumber us and are intending to do us grievous bodily harm, their Spirits as a group see our Protected Spirits and they back off. The Souls – the Conscience Minds of the people who intended to attack us, cannot understand why they instantly became afraid and backed off, but they follow that fear and leave the innocent person alone.
It occurred to me that “How much love do you need, before you give your love to me” could be interpreted that he is wanting her, but she is dating many men and she does not real;ise that if she got rid of the crowd of men she is always dating (the forest) she could see the man (tree) and realise that if she gave all her love to that one man she would be happy, satisfied, loved, and appreciated.
Being “Dated”, means many want her, for sex, for ego.and so on, and she is never happy nor satisfied, feels used, lost and is going in pointless circles.
I have not seen this.
Some of the hardest things to discover for a person:
° That I was wrong.
° That I mistreated someone who is innocent.
° That I blamed others for my failings.
° That I was so insecure I was arrogant.
° That I wasn’t as innocent as I thought I was.
° The I refused to apologize because I had pride.
° I refused to make right the wrongs I had done because I didn’t want my friends to know I had been wrong all along.
° That I was people pleasing.
° That I had crucified someone publicly for something that person hadn’t done.
° That I let people push me around because I was too scared to stand up for myself.
° That there were battles I could of won but I was too scared of the consequences of being right.
° That I let someone down who believed in me.
° That I turned away true love because my family and friends said to turn away.
° That I broke someone’s heart because I thought of myself first.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
July 14, 2016 at 4:40 PM
The heard mental health sounds exactly the same as my ex-wife, the Borderline Personality Disorder and so on.
The interesting part is how she says that his reaction was the same as mine with the ex.
This goes beyond his or my character, its any how you react to another person’s treatment of you. And Heard in the psychiatric report comes out really bad, she sounds just like my ex.
She had that thing where she does wrong and can’t see it for the life of her but will blame her partner (or children) for it, but she can’t see it in herself. Heard, deems herself completely innocent. Meaning like they both did wrong, but Heard only things that Depp did wrong and that she was victimized, she even went as far as did interviews of his abuse of her, and claiming that she was the only victim.
The blonde I lived with did the same, she split up with me and told everyone how she was victimized, innocent and did no wrong and that I was the cause of the split up.
When you are the guy you cannot publicly defend yourself because the woman instantly gets the sympathy and adoration as the victim.When the wife left, she first left me with 2 childrne nd she was adored, then she left a second time, leaving 4 childrne, and was still adored, when she took me to court after not seeing the childrne for 4 years claiming that I stopped her from seeing them, and 3 were willing to defend me in court the judge, child lawyer, my female lawyer, and her lawyer all supported her, thats how she got Jimmy.If I stand up and claim unfair play all support her, Tracy, Rachel and Grace were horrified at how she manipulated the courts and won, and successfully made me out to be a monster.
“Don’t worry about tomorrow. After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” – Author Unknown.
Many with titles, education, money etc get adored by the public yet they do everything for themselves. While the meek, humble genuine souls are often ignored, yet they are the foundation of the better decent honourable world that the public so desperately long for.
Some religious people I have met have told me that they want the truth. So they have prayed, and then when the truth (I see it easily from outside of the situation) is presented for them to see an digest, they refuse to see it, even if it is clearly obvious and shown to them.
They have at some stage previously got a strong belief in something, a core-belief, and that got a strong emotional hold on their hearts and souls, and when presented with some truths that prove that core belief wrong they refuse to see it. Maybe they don’t want to believe that a relative or old friend set them up.
To see the truth would give them the horrible feeling that they were wrong, that they made a very serious error of judgment, and possibly hurt someone innocent in the process. That they failed God and themselves.
Psalm 27, verse 11: “Teach me thy way, O LORD!”
Honesty = Moral Excellence. That which is good. Pure, admirable, true, honourable, integrity, moral rectitude.
An honest man is the noblest work of God – A Pope.
It is better to be more than you seem, than to seem more than you are.
Because they are religious they pray for God’s help and guidance in the issue before them, but they really don’t want the truth because it would upset them too much. But they were given the truth. But God gave it to them anyway to them to set them free from whatever false/fake-story (fake person) that was previously given to them.
God wants truthful, humble, honest, people on His team, not people who are easily influenced, seduced, and then afraid to face the truth of their part in some dishonest scheme.
Pretending that the truth is false is not doing anyone any good, and is not fooling God in the least.
Just how courageous are religious people when they don’t want to face the truth and set things right that they have previously done wrong!
Obedience – doing God’s will rather than your own.
Had he done as the master told him, he would soon have come to understand. Obedience is the opener of eyes. – George MacDonald. (Unspoken Sermons).
Psalm 51, verse 6:
Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
I thirst for truth, But shall not drink it until I reach the source. – Robert Browning.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
2018.
Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it. – Maya Angelou.
Another video to the female that will probably never see them but its nice for me to let out the feelings, explanations, feelings and hurt:
In fee church they talk about how Jesus said that we must all be as innocent as children to enter the kingdom of heaven, and atheist go on about empathy, compassion and love, both Belief Systems talk the talk but neither lives what they talk.
People who are being abused always think that it is happening to other people other than themselves until it destroys them.
Cognitive Dissonance in Narcissistic Abuse: A Snapshot
A simplistic, condensed example in a toxic relationship: an abuser professes love and divines a marriage date with their partner. The partner is courted, romanced, and ultimately falls in love with the abuser, not knowing that the abuser has ulterior motives (i.e., not staying in the relationship). The partner envisions wedding details and enjoys the courtship, flowers, and being placed on a pedestal. The abuser then suddenly makes a comment denying they said anything about getting married. They go on to say the partner is “crazy” for thinking that. Blame is then projected upon the partner, and the partner is dizzy with confusion, recalling that, indeed, their significant other did discuss wedding bells and a future together.
The partner then experiences a state of cognitive dissonance—a hazy unreality of confusion. Such emotional abuse renders the target confused and reeling with heartache that the pace of the relationship has slammed to an abrupt halt, in addition to feelings of betrayal and being blamed.
Gaslighting: Another Insidious Form of Narcissistic Cognitive Dissonance
Another common tactic of emotional abuse employed by individuals with narcissistic issues is “gaslighting.” This term was coined after a movie titled Gaslight (1944) in which a form of psychological abuse resulting in cognitive dissonance occurred for the main character, played by Ingrid Bergman. The result of gaslighting is that the target of abuse doubts their own reality of the situation because the abuser is trying to confuse and disorient the target in order to maintain power and control, all at the cost of the emotional well-being of the target.
Another example of gaslighting in the movies would be the Julia Roberts character as the target of abuse in Sleeping with the Enemy (1991). In her situation, her abuser would appear as a stalker in her house by straightening out the bath towels. Roberts’ character knew that her partner was particular about cleanliness and order, so when she thought she was alone in the house, she found out she was not by seeing straightened bath towels arranged eerily in order. This gaslighting resulted in Roberts’ character doubting her reality and feeling a state of psychological terror. In circumstances where emotional abuse occurs outside of Hollywood films, often the “gaslighting” is verbal or emotional, placing the target of abuse in a state of perpetual confusion.
Using Validation to Diffuse Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive dissonance is diffused and reduced when the survivor of narcissistic abuse is able to receive validation and confirmation of the reality of their circumstances. Narrating the story can take place verbally in psychotherapy sessions and/or via the use of journaling exercises. Although this is just the beginning of the healing process, mastering the trauma associated with narcissistic abuse ensues when the target has unconditional, positive regard, validation for their experience, psychoeducation about the nature of narcissistic abuse recovery, and empowerment as they move through the emotions associated with grief/trauma recovery.
Being able to vocalize or write about the particulars of the experience releases the trauma and enables the survivor to reduce cognitive dissonance and continue with the healing work. Talking to a licensed, compassionate therapist can be one helpful step in moving toward healing.
There are many more steps in the healing process, but working through cognitive dissonance is a key, initial component in reducing trauma and anxiety in survivors of emotional abuse.
Matthew Chapter 6, verse 24:
No human can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
You must choose between God and the world. God’s teaching and will for your life must come before all things.
The Word of God must come before parents opinions, the laws of the world, everything. God before all things, and only then when you trust God fully will you finally get close enough to God to know His will for your life.
One of the saddest times of our lives is the discovery that those who always said that they had our back protected turn on us and attack when life is at one of its lowest points for us. They attack when they think that they are guaranteed to win, but they don’t know your true courage, your commitment to right, and your desire for better things. They don’t know that you will stand up strong and fight for justice.
These people are the one’s that like us and tell us that they love us but it is only while we are of use to them. I know it hurts, and hurts a lot to find out such things but in reality their true identity is a blessing in disguise because we are no longer in their hands and are no longer being used by them.
Sometimes in life we will find the foundation ripped out from under us, the foundation that we thought was safe and secure, and from this we find that we really have few options. One, the most important is to rely on ourself and to have faith in God for a good outcome even though many are against us.
It is at times like this that we find who we really need, and who our real friends are. Fakes are often very convincing, but when they stand to suffer, lose something, or have to do the hard yards they can become exposed for who they really are. Keep your mind and eyes open, follow your instincts, pray for guidance..
When “friends and family” turn on you, cry your tears, put away your fears, and go where you know that you will find true companionship, love and friendship that will last your lifetime.
The reason for these experiences is to show us how to detect good and bad people, and to know who we can trust and who will turn on us. Good hearts get hurt, accept that, and shake the dust off your feet and move on. You have become a more knowledgable, wise person. Please don’t forget your lessons, the results and what you have learned.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
2018.
When I think of how I would answer the question, the following behaviours come to mind:
* Creating: Writing, drawing, painting (though I’m not good at it), playing music (though I’m not especially good at that, either). For others, it might be inventing something, building a business, coming up with a clever marketing campaign, forming a non-profit.
* Relating: It’s not “family” that makes life worth living, I think, but the relationships we create with members of our family, and the way we maintain and build those relationships. Same goes for friends, love, business partners, students, and everyone else.
* Helping: Being able to lend a hand to people in need – however drastic or trivial that need may be – strikes me as an important part of life.
* Realizing: Making, working towards, and achieving goals, no matter what those goals are.
* Playing: Maybe this is a kind of “relating”, but then, play can be a solo affair as well. Letting go of restraints, imagining new possibilities, testing yourself against others or against yourself, finding humor and joy.
* Growing: Learning new things, improving my knowledge and ability in the things I’ve already learned.
Those seem satisfying answers to me – they strike deeper into what it is I want for myself, what makes it worthwhile to get up in the morning.
What about you? What makes your life worth living?
Do you feel like I’m headed down the wrong path here?
How would you answer the question, “What makes life worth living?”
– Dustin Wax.
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There are four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love. – Lord Byron.
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The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” – Albert Camus.
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As a responsible citizen of the world, it is your duty and the duty of each of us to contribute what we can during the flash of light called Time, which exists as one moment following another while we are here, together, alive.
Anyone who feels s/he is ‘extra baggage’ and using resources and not enjoying her or his life, should NEVER end it.
Instead, that feeling of unhappiness is the whisper in your ear, the pinch of pain needed to motivate you to DO SOMETHING ELSE in life besides whatever it is you are doing now that makes you so unhappy.
Unhappiness and frustration, disappointment and pain, are there for a reason. They are there to tell us it is time to change.
What will you do?
Consider what your strengths are. If you are physically healthy and capable please go to an area ravaged by earthquake, tornado or poverty, and contribute what you can to others. Get trained by The Red Cross in lifesaving techniques, setting up resources after devastation — and make your life the ripple in the pond which spreads blessings and gives value instead of consuming value.
– American Red Cross.
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“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company … a church … a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude … I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you … we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
– Charles Swindle.
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People are going to come into your life that need you, and being there for them makes the day worth living. People are going to come into your life that you need, and that’s the really crazy thing. – Amy Grant.
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One of the most important things about life to all of us is that our core needs are met.
Societies based on materialism focus on all ways on materialistic growth and development in the community. Materialism does not meet the needs of the soul.
“Things”are not worth living for. People are worth living for. Living for the greater good of all should be inspired within is all and taught in all forms of education.
Breathable health oxygen, healthy food, clean healthy water, shelter and sleep are basic physical needs that help us function well.
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Max-Neef classifies the fundamental human needs as:
Subsistence – protection – affection – understanding – participation – leisure – creation – identity – freedom.
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Based on more than 30 years of psychological counseling and pastoral care, Howard Clinebell believes that humans have seven spiritual hungers in common:
* All people need to experience regularly the healing and empowerment of love – from others, self, and an ultimate source.
* Everyone needs to experience renewing times of transcendence – moments that expand us beyond the immediate sensory spheres.
* Everybody needs vital beliefs that give some sense of meaning and hope the midst of losses, tragedies, and failures.
* Every person needs to have values, priorities, and life commitments – usually centered in issues of justice, integrity, and love – that guide us in personally and socially responsible living.
* Each human being needs to discover and develop their inner wisdom, creativity and love of their unique transpersonal/spiritual self.
* All people need a deepening awareness of oneness with other people and with the natural world, the wonderful web of all living things.
* Every human being needs spiritual resources to help heal the painful wounds of grief, guilt, resentment, unforgiveness, self-rejection, and shame. We also need spiritual resources to deepen our experiences of trust, self-esteem, hope, joy and love of life.
Clinebell feels that everybody must pay attention to these needs to feel whole and fulfilled, making spirituality central to human well-being (Clinebell, 1992).
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We all need to find our own reason to live, and that could take many years to discover, or we may not ever make that discovery but we will have a life that felt worth living.
We need Love, we would like to be Understood, it would be nice to be Heard, people should Respect Us enough to give us a chance to try to live “our own way” and not make fun of us when we want to follow our own instinctive feelings and creative imagination.
Parents and teenagers need to note that society creates many divides which create a invisible wall between them. Music, attitudes, fads, fashion, technology, language (slang etc), peer pressure and pride can cause the parents/teenagers relationship to suffer enough for the teenagers to seek relationships, guidance and entertainment elsewhere.
If both parents and teenagers are always aware of this they can prepare for it and adjust their lives and actions accordingly to re-establish the relationship if need be. Together families and communities can survive for the greater good of all.
One of the joys of life is communities, the people, working together to make life better for each other – that is the work of love.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
April 10, 2016 at 11:49 AM.
If we keep the past a memory and learn from it, then it stays in its place and we grow from here, we become stronger and more able to deal with life. If we go back to the past then that is who we will be, who we once were and the past will be us once more and not a memory as it should be. Reject those past temptations. Aim for a new positive future that has hope in it, where you dreams and desires can come true.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
June 28, 2011.
Height and short people:
Yesterday I was getting groceries and I lost the woman I was getting groceries with, she was somewhere in the aisles. My friend Frans (store security), who is about 6 feet, 4 inches high, said to me while laughing that she should grow taller sand that I should as well, then he easily pointed her out because he could see her and I couldn’t. 
She is a short blonde, not so easy to find in a taller crowd.
My friend, Igor and Frans, who are both taller than me, and I were talking about height and they were kidding me because I am rather short.
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But I remember a friend at the Kinlieth Paper Mill who used to give me a hard time about me being short and he being taller. He was always teasing me about my height.
Then one day I walked under a steal beam which just touched the top of my hair, and he walked face first into it hurting his forehead, and from that day on if he mentioned my height I would mention that short people do have some advantages over tall people
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
2019.
Coping in Life has a lot to do with accepting what people exist in the world and not letting them get us down, or overpower us.
For example:
There will always be confused, upset people, and there will always be narcissists, money lovers, prideful, greedy, and dysfunctional, toxic people, because they make up a lot of the society we have today.
For us to cope and function in a positive manner we need to “not take in” other peoples negative characters, emotions and feelings, meaning that it is wise that we don’t react to the problems other people have, even if they try to force you to react, and instead let their negative emotional state go over you and react in a mature stable way.
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There is great personal power in maturity. If we understand that other people are suffering, and that at least they think that they have a good reason for acting as they do, then we can let their negative emotions and insults bounce off us without us feeling insecure etc.
We become winners when we don’t react.
If we allow people to make us feel insecure, guilty, angry, we are giving them the power to control our life and in doing so they can gain control of us by manipulating us to agree or do as they wish.
Power is in not immediately reacting to other people’s negative behaviours, power is putting our mind into “Observing, Thinking, and Careful Thought Mode” while considering all that is being said regardless of the mood other people are in.
In doing so we observe, we don’t get offended, we don’t cower at their rage or anger, insults or pushiness, we listen a lot, taking it in and chewing over what is going on in our minds and letting our own ideas, thoughts and questions come forth peacefully and naturally.
The result is that we stay mature and calm and we deal with the other person in a manner in which they are not prepared to handle and we get our views across in a clear precise way – to onlookers we come across as worthy, stable, and someone they want to be around and listen to because we are not overpowering, we are not a bully. We are calm and we have strong worthy mature ideas and present ourselves in a manner that makes them have faith in us. Confidence comes with a mature attitude.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
2019.
I had a terrible fear of speaking in public, and also I had a great fear of expressing my feelings publicly, especially my opinions, because of how I was treated as a child. I was scared of making a fool of myself, of people laughing at me, of being told to shut up, or being told that I was a fool, useless and stupid.
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To overcome this I had to face false criticisms, abuse, laughter and other people’s opinions of me, but the rewards are far greater than fears of speaking out.
People in the beginning saw me as my old character, easy to overcome, easy to shut up, and easy to question by putting him down and laughing at him.
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I learned, at the complete risk of making a fool of myself, to speak out and try to say at least one thing that was from my own thoughts when with people, until I got more used to doing this. At meetings I spoke and sometimes was laughed at, but as time went by people realised that I was not going to stop saying my piece, voicing my ideas, thoughts and opinions, and they became used to it and had no choice but to accept what I had to say and to agree that something I said was the answers to the questions that were bothering them.
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What I do now is stay quiet in meetings. I don’t tend to back up and support anyone at the meeting until I find out where I can add to the situation in a positive progressive way that hopefully will solve a problem and help us all move forward. I speak when I think that I have something worth saying, and even if the others disagree I continue to speak and either come up with something new or say what I originally said because I realize that some people have so many issues that they lack a clear understanding until it is told to them more than a few times and all of a sudden they see the light.
The only way to overcome fears is to face them. And of course facing a fear is going to be an uncomfortable moment, struggle and anxiety, but the results are becoming comfortable with the situation, becoming more confident each time, and realising that irrational fears only existed in the mind.
You were not born to be hidden under a roof, you were born to use your talents and gifts to help reach out to others and to make a positive difference to your community and in other people’s lives, you were born to shine in the most humble and beautiful, useful way, for all to see and to be grateful for.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
2019.
Every rejections, every disappointment, has led you here, to this moment – there was and is still a reason, and upon taking the correct courageous steps forward past your adversaries you will be on the path to your God-Given Destiny, the one that you were born for.
Satan has dressed up your enemies in nice (character) clothing so that they will appear your friends and faithful to your cause.
Satan knows that your eyes, your pleasures, your emotional turmoil has you making materialistic choices of very little value and which you forget about once you have them, its all in the plan to build up your faith and confidence in the evil plan until you cannot tell the difference between God and evil.
Before you found God you partook in indecent, immoral, unjust activities, and to you these were fun, good, decent and you had no issues with them being in your life, and that was because Evil had convinced you that evil practices are good.
Since you found God, has there been people who have convinced you to be with people who taught you evil yet called it good?
Logic would have us look to Wisdom to seek the Truth and in that process we see, feel and understand that those who led us astray before will lead us astray once more, and ever so onwards, until we eventually wake up one day doing the things that God taught us not to do, and we will like it, we will rejoice in the evil in our lives and then we will tell our own childrne, the ones that God entrusted us with, that evil is good, to enjoy, to play in the filth yet see it as good, and they too will be replica’s of us, dirty, filthy, evil and fake.
God will always pick up the pieces, but it would seem common sense that we were not so foolish that we drove ourselves to disaster before it happens laughing, joking and being plastic and fake as we were before.
When you first find God, do not entertain evil suggestions, or the weaknesses of pleasures of the body, its time to put away childish things, vain thoughts, feeding the ego, and following God in truth and life.
mANY THINGS CANNOT BE UNDERSTOOD UNTIL THEY ARE DONE, THEN WHAT WE DOUBTED BECOMES REAL AND WHAT WE WERE AFRAID OF BECOMESFAKE, AND FINALLY WE REALIZED THAT OUR OWN WORST ENEMY WAS OURSELF AS WE WERE AVOIDED OUR OWN HEALING.
You Must At least Try,
if you don’t
You will hate Yourself!.
So try!