“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.” – Ashley Fern.

“The real things haven’t changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong.”

The future belongs to those who live and love in the present moment – Author Unknown.

If a lion’s roar isn’t getting you anyplace, try a bear hug – Author Unknown.

Moods change like tides. Don’t get attached to one particular mindset. Let this mood wash over you like a wave and watch as it pulls back to the sea of emotions – Sweetie Gendinesh.

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If you struggle with certain aspects of yourself, consider finding your ‘space’ to respond, rather than reflexively react, by doing the following:

Consider the person you would like to be:
Think about the person you would like to be, especially in the areas in which you struggle. For instance, you might not like your tendency to become quickly frustrated in difficult situations, wanting instead to be a patient person. Take the time to develop a clear vision of this more ideal version of yourself.

Think about the meaning or origin of your reactions: There is a reason that you react as you do. It can be very helpful to understand your reactions, and perhaps even their origins. For instance, you might be impatient because you imagine failing to fix problems, and so you experience great anxiety. You might also realize that your parents tended to be critical, leaving you to believe that you always fall short.

Observe the outcome of your reactions: Pay close attention to the results of your reactions. By bringing negative consequences to your awareness, you will be more motivated to change your reaction to a desired response. With our example, you might note how your impatience makes it impossible for you to effectively solve problems.

Imagine a better response: Think about better ways to respond. Imagine doing them and the consequences of this. Also imagine what it would feel like to respond more in keeping with what you want for yourself.    Continuing the example of a problem with impatience, you might envision yourself responding calmly to a problem and then moving on to find your way to an effective solution.

Learn a more compassionate approach to yourself: Because personal change takes effort and time to accomplish, it is important to support this process within yourself. Being critical will only undermine your efforts. So, instead, practice being understanding and patient with yourself – much as you would be supportive of a child or good friend who is working to develop a new skill.

You very well may need to learn particular skills in making some changes. For instance, you might want to learn skills in assertiveness, anger management, being more social, or relaxation. Psychotherapy can also help you to relieve anxiety or depression, as well as address any other personal struggle. Whatever your situation calls for, you will find creating ‘space’ is an incredibly powerful part of becoming the person you aspire to be.

Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps. Psychology Today.