There was a girl who fell in love with a man. She really wanted his attention but he hardly noticed her at all. She was going to counseling and she had low self esteem.
After some time and confidence growth she decided to give him clearer signals of her liking him. Finally the man asked her to be his steady girlfriend. She was very happy, and it showed in all that she did, it was all that she wanted and all that she imagined that could make her happy.
He rang her up for their first date, and she turned him down. In fact she turned down all his offers to go out and spend some time together.
Why?
She adored him. Her love was very strong and if given half the chance she would have been wonderful for him and he for her.
She was terrified of him rejecting her. She thought that once he got to know her that he would discover that she was inadequate and what she was really like, and he would be displeased with her and then reject her. She couldn’t deal with him rejecting her.
By refusing his love she made him move on, she made him reject her. She made her rejection fears come true.
A low self-esteem can have us destroying opportunities before we get a chance to find out if the opportunity will make us truly happy. We can reject blessings because we don’t believe that we deserve them.
Rejection by other people can make us feel inadequate, unworthy and below other people. So we sometimes set up our own lives so that we avoid being rejected. We can tell lies to ourselves pretending that we are protecting ourselves from future harm, but in reality we are destroying our future happiness. By doing this we also destroy opportunities that come our way.
Confidence in ourself can have us making good life choices and meeting people without fears.
People who don’t believe in themselves don’t believe in opportunities for themselves.
People who avoid things can tell themselves lies to convince them that they are doing the right thing. In the end the simple fact is that they are frightened of rejection and being emotionally hurt.
Please believe that you are worthy of the blessings that come your way. Accept them gracefully, humbly and kindly, because to get them shows that you are worthy and loved by others who care enough to give love, affection and care towards you.
If it comes your way and it is a good decent thing that will bless you then please don’t refuse it. It could be the very thing that will turn your life around to new beginnings and a new happiness that you have never imagined before.
Your destiny lies in your accepting your worth as a child of God and a person who has a good strong part to play in the world. Be humble, decent, good and kind, show your charitable love everywhere you go. And do the decent thing, accept who you are, what you are, and that as life goes on with your courage and talents and acceptance of your worth life will get much better for you.
All the best from James M Sandbrook.
Self-esteem
(Wikipedia)
is a term used in psychology to reflect a person’s overall emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs (for example, “I am competent,” “I am worthy”) and emotions such as triumph, despair, pride and shame.
Smith and Mackie define it by saying “The self-concept is what we think about the self; self-esteem, is the positive or negative evaluations of the self, as in how we feel about it.”
Self-esteem is also known as the evaluative dimension of the self that includes feelings of worthiness, prides and discouragement.
One’s self-esteem is also closely associated with self-consciousness.
Self-esteem is a disposition that a person has which represents their judgments of their own worthiness.
The pasts mistakes can be like little-dark whispers in your ear. They delightfully cause doubts and fears and they want you to stay away from the promises & good life with God. We need to stop that whisper (the negative thoughts) by keeping happy positive thoughts in our head, and looking back is a lesson and not a torture to make us feel negative about the future. It is your choice which future you choose…
It is your choice which future you choose, a happy one blessed by God or what you have been used to, the past.
Psalm 118, verse 5: I called upon the LORD in distress: the LORD answered me, and set me in a large place.
The future can be such a joy but you can very easily destroy the good times with worry, doubts and fears. Everytime (if you let them) you try to make that positive step that will bring you the happiness that you want, these whispered doubts start up their conversation in your ear telling you why you cannot do this and your past is the weapon that feeds that doubt with fuel.
John Chapter 8, verse 32: And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
Jesus spoke a good truth of love and much more.
Think of the blessings that you have had and whether you will be with good loving forgiving people in the future. Turn the negative to a positive and focus on the positives of the past and the unwritten joys of the future to come. You know what you did wrong, there is nothing to worry about if you don’t go back to that life. Concentrate on the future with the right [people.
You should never doubt your worth. In my eyes, in God’s eyes you are worth every breath you have ever had and should never think that because of past mistakes that you are not a lovely person. like I know that you are. We have all been tarnished by temptations and the trap that keeps us in that temptation. We all have had to learnt to give the addictions/temptations/weaknesses a solid boot and remake our life and although it is hard thinking of the hard past, the new future changes that you make to your life can be felt as an adventure (especially if you have the right people sharing your new future with you).
We are all special, each and every one of us. Each one a jewel, a soul, and a piece of clay to be moulded. Start moulding your life like a clump of clay, for the positive and remove those negatives of the past. Use the past as that special guide that you need. The past is an object of measurement that you can use to show you not what to do because you have now learnt from it and want a better future.
Psalm 23, verse 6: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Galatians Chapter 5, verse 22/23: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
All the best from
James Martin Sandbrook.
29th ofg April, 2011.
To watch later.
If the world makes you sick you can always follow God!
You do have options.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
2017.
When children grow up they have their life installed into their soul, parents teachings, school teaching, and experiences.
I watched an episode of Happy days and the father and mother were concerned about Joanie and Chachi were going to go on a date. Mr Cunningham said to his wife (something like…) that they had taught her the best that they could, given her a good decent upbringing and now it was up to her to choose what she wanted in her life and whether she would behave on the date with Chachi. Chachi was always over affectionate towards Joanie, and Joanie’s parents had seen this. But Mr Cunningham had come to the wise conclusion that the girl as a young adult had to experience this test and the parents had to step away and let her go. Joanie behaved, and that meant that Chachi had to behave.
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I have seen young adults in church speak about how all their lives they were taught to be Christians by their religious parents, but even though they did the motions, obeyed and were good, they didn’t know if they had really come to God in their hearts or were just simply following the rules of their parents. In fact many go astray for some years or for life as young adults because they didn’t truly believe in God. Sad as that is, this was their journey and life to live, we cannot live it for them. Even Jesus was not able to save and convince everyone. Since Jesus couldn’t get through to people what chances do you think that you have of convincing family or friends to follow Christ.
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Wise advice: “Do your part, then depart!”
Meaning do the best that you can do, and then get out of the way to let the person decide his or herself what they really want in life. You did your best, that is enough, you cannot do more than what you could, but we must let them make up their own minds.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
29th of April, 2017.