If a house is built correctly, the foundation is strong, the walls sturdy, the floor solid etc.
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If a person is not built (grown up) in the correct manner then he or she will have issues, and those issues were put upon them by other people and life experiences, not themselves.You are not to blame if you have mental issues, you are struggling, therefore you have been damaged in your soul and now as an adult you are struggling to cope with that damage.In New Zealand back in the 1800’s the English noted a lot of the natives had crooked legs. What had happened was that they had broken their legs, had no idea what to do and let the leg set, heal, mend, into the angle it was broken at.
With this damage these Maori people continued their lives struggling to walk and cope.
If the legs had been re-broken and set back in the correct angle they would have been able to walk properly.
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When our soul is broken, shattered some, when we were young in our adult life we are trying to struggle through it all like the Maori with the broken legs.
But if we have good therapy, or just someone we can deeply trust listen, we can talk about our past and face the things that once broke us, be comforted, encouraged and get through it and instead of struggling we can understand what went wrong, why it went wrong and then rebuilt our lives.
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I went through a deep emotional stage where I got many memories back from my childhood. I wrote about them in a file and by writing them down more surfaces, connections were made, and an understanding of the real reasons for my mental struggles was found in many cases.
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For instance my eldest daughter one day said that I was a loser because I failed everything at school. While walking around the house after she said that, in tears, I wondered why I was such a hopeless case, a failure etc. I, of course, felt that I was a loser and I blamed myself harshly.
But then a thought popped into my mind, and I remembered my High School year where we had the exams and I remembered that I slept in the lounge and my mother, a single parent would have parties and my sisters (6 of them) had the bedrooms so I had to stay up until the party ended.Also mother had gay men visit, they were her friends and they would often joke about how they were going to rape me and do all sorts of sordid things to me, and they would stay until late at night and into the early morning drinking with mother and my eldest sister.On top of that and among other things mother refused to buy me spectacles even though an eye test at 12 years old showed that I needed glasses. So at High school all the years I was there I could not see distance, so I couldn’t play sports well, recognize people or see the blackboard.These things hindered my ability to focus and study, let alone see well. By revisiting some of my High School years I was surprised to see that I was not hopeless, a loser and failure, I was not given a fair change and the opportunities others had and along with the normal modern teenagers issues I simply was not up to the game so to speak.
But given the same parents and opportunities the other children had I realised I could have done a lot better. Also my daughter who was proud of her achievements was given many chances that i never had. I made sure that she didn’t go without at High School and allowed her time for study and money for what she needed.
And she succeeded well.
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To give you a better view of mother and why she treated me as she did, she was a feminist and hated men, dad, and told me on a few occasions that she was never going to give me opportunists because I was a male, and that is why I wasn’t allowed glasses, to join groups and never went on a school trip my school years. It was her way of making stand for woman’s rights with my life. My 6 sister went on school trips etc.
I went through a stage where having a shower was something I just didn’t want to do.
It was weird, but I had no desire, I was depressed and frankly all I wanted to do all day was sleep.
Sometimes people would visit and to my horror I had not showered and I wondered what I smelt like, so I decided to put a plan into action to make me shower.
I reasoned that we are creatures of habit and we have the vision and ability to create good healthy habits.
So what I did was set up a routine. I would get up, have a coffee, then shower. I did this day after day, at first forcing myself, even dragging myself to the shower and then finally I stopped thinking about it and just went and had the shower after the coffee.
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Always remember, “We humans are creatures of habit” and you can use that to your advantage.
To believe that we don’t have spiritual connections and spiritual abilities is to downplay our true nature as heavenly creatures on earth and to dumb down our existence and protective tools.”
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Made in the image of God means that we have spiritual abilities because we were first spiritual before human, and the human body is just a
vehicle to take us through our lifetime, the body is in no way who we are or all that we are capable of, its just a vehicle, a tool.
When you share with your heart publicly you are opening up your heart and soul and people can put you down, laugh at you,, try to shame you, call you weak, stupid and a fool, but on the other hand you save lives, many lives, you let people know how you felt, how you suffered and yes, you do show your foolishness before you became much wiser, you show your gentleness, and there are people out there suffering that desperately need you word, your encouragements, your views on what happened, they want to know how you healed, what happened, and can they apply your answers to their lives.I still hurt from what people say and their laughter, but I am so heavenly lifted when people thank me, offer their own story, and people try what I did to get out of it and they are so happy to have someone tell their story and that story leads them to new discoveries and personal healing and growth.
Its all about reaching others, doing what you can, a lot of crying, and a lot of growing up, becoming solid, strong and mature, and really being there for other sin heart and soul as best as you can and making a difference to others lives. Your suffering is their healing, its the best that you can do for other people and for God in making your life and the world a better place, especially for the new generations to come.
Its called being a Good Samaritan to all people regardless of what they have done, who they have hurt, or who hurt them or how they were hurt, bot the person who hurts and the one who was hurt need help, healing, understanding, and our unconditional love and care.Our active, forgiving, gentle, and understanding love heals people.
Our attacking, shaming, blaming and punishing creates anger and more hurt and damages people.
Love is the only answer to your problems.
Having a broken heart is something that we probably all have had to face at sometime in our lives,
for some of us a few times.
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This is one of the reasons that I only wanted to fall in love the once after my ex-wife left, I never wanted to be hurt again and never wanted to see yet another woman walk away forever confirming once again that I wasn’t good enough, yet again.
I had hoped that I could control this, that I was old enough and mature enough to shut off my feelings if all went wrong, but the emotions are the same as if I were 18, it doesn’t change.
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The hard part is that there is no choice who we fall in love with, the heart does the job and the soul is expected to deal with it. Win or lose, we can’t control who we genuinely fall in love with.
Someone may say, “Why did you fall in love with ‘her’?” for whatever reason, but it wasn’t a choice, genuine love never is a personal choice, more like, it is an event that we become a part of and then have to live through however it pans out.
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The terrible crestfallen feelings when the one we love walks away to start again and we have no choice but to watch, cry, hang our head and wish to die. Other people are nice, offers come, but the heart that holds genuine love can hold no other, love no other, want or need no other. And as time goes by, for a while, life seems to get back in order, things pick up, then the one we love comes back into view and all the hurt comes back like a flood from a dam that burst from overpressure and the tear revisit day after day.
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The heartbreak truly never ends, the emotion uncontrolled, unbelievable and overwhelming. Tears come at all times of the day, no place to hide, no desire to go have fun or play. No one can hide from a broken heart, there is no where to go, because the love for the other is deep within. The smiles the public see are fake, the laughter an act, all intended to not give the genuine feelings away. For those of us who have no desire to drown our sorrows in alcohol or drugs the sadness is an all day event, the nights cold and lonely.
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Yet one cannot genuinely have fault for someone who was seeking their own happiness elsewhere. People walk away for their own reasons, and to become bitter is only self torture and telling a lie, because we don’t hate who we love, so we should pretend to.
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The want to reach and hold that person and try to make up for lost time and undo whatever damage was done is very strong, but when one holds us at arms length and says, “No!” there is no where for the sad heart to go.
Truly, on of the hardest things to endure is a broken heart, and the second and third and forth hardest is when that person comes back on the scene again and again, and the feelings all come back again.
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To live through such things we humans are truly a strong yet longsuffering race. I truly hope that we can all learn to find peace, love and the will to live in the arms of someone who is compatible with our own soul.
Two hearts in love are so much better than one lonely one.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
January 3, 2018 at 9:22 AM.
For many people, knowing that God is near and always looking after them with His Guidance gives them a special hope stronger than the hope offered by people.
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Having hope in God has pulled many people through bad situations. These people survive on the full confidence that God is showing them the way and they have everlasting hope that God will find a way to pull them through.We can use the Bible and true life stories to show us that hope is a tool that we can use in our own life to help motivate us onward and through the hard times.Your personal daily expressed hope is addictive, and those around you will gradually be infected by its positive influence on their days.More than likely you will remember someone who you have known who has always had hopeful statements when situations don’t look good. Use these people as examples to show you that you too, can be like this.Try to be around people who have a happy and hopeful nature and their good nature will rub off on you.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
2005.
Abuse when young causes us to struggle to recognize our emotions, and because we are thrown out of sync with our emotions we react in many uncontrolled ways, sometimes with anxieties and fears etc.
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Then as teenagers and adults we have this uncontrolled up and down swinging of our emotions because we were never taught how to control them or how to react to them in a strong mature way, and this lose of control causes our emotions and lives to go haywire when things go wrong.
The doctors and mental health folk blame it on many things and give out medication etc to “cure it”, when in reality people needing to seek the source of the problem, the root of the anxiety etc and deal with that, and from then on realize that they are mentally fine and need to learn to control how they react to situations and what each emotion is for and how it helps us to respond to life, people and events in a mature way.
Proverbs Chapter 16, verse 18: Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.
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Pride comes before a fall.
Price goes before destruction.When haughty and prideful we are not truthful to ourself or to others. Pride locks the doors of the heart. Pride keeps us from the truth, and keeps us from telling the truth.Pride surrounds us and keeps our love from flowing outward and stops love from reaching us.Pride is a tool of evil. Satan is full of pride. Being prideful is not following God. Be not deceived from the truth for it is pride that deceives us.People deny God because of pride. People deny themselves true love because they very foolishly want to be popular and follow the crowd.Each day is a blank page, imagine your life with each day filled with pride, oh the things we would miss out on. The love and friendship we would never know.When we use pride we deny ourself life.◘◘
💜All the best from James M Sandbrook.
A good goal for us all is to be the change that you want to see in 2019.
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If we are on a committee, attend meetings, vote, and in our own homes choose for the matters of the heart, love, compassion for each other, and for a healthier environment, then 2018 will be a year of much progress for us all.
• Change will only happen if we embrace thoughts of positive change and then do what we can do in our own lives to put the positive change into action.
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Life gets better when we learn to see with open eyes what is wrong in our lives and society and then become dedicated to a better more fruitful healthier world for all. Once we become at peace with nature, the animals, then we are at peace with ourselves.
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We are all works of progress, we all fail and make mistakes and these lead us to greater successes and a better world.
If our focus is on a better world for the children of tomorrow, then we will intentionally make positive changes to look after our planet, people and all life.
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Every small or big thing that you can do in your job, personal life, home, etc will make a difference when matched up with all the small of big chances that millions or billions of other people make.
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Please believe that the effort to be responsible is worthy. We can all do something, daily or weekly, to make positive change. All animals do what they can to preserve their kind except the human race at this current time. The focus today is on self and our own entertainments etc. We need to snap out of this and wake up to the
reality of what is happening to our world.
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Honestly each and every one of us will love and respect ourselves so much more if we are willing to make the efforts, take up the challenges, and do something really decent that makes a difference. A better world is not just going to happen, we have to make it happen.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
January 2, 2018 at 2:24 PM.
I was just reading about a man who became insane while studying to be a medical student. He said that three things were a major factor in him recovering from his problem.
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One was his deep faith in God. ‘In the medical dictionary there is no definition of God. But faith in God was the master medicine that brought Jack out of the locked ward…”
Another was the love of his wife. “The one comfort I found,” Jack remembers, “was Mary. Her love made me want to recover.”
And the one other thing that helped him was TLC – Tender Loving Care. ‘There was a negro attendant names Griff and another big husky attendant named Terry who treated him like a human being, not an insane addict, when they helped him (Jack)…’
When my wife left me and our 4 children I was deeply depressed, very scared and nervous. I had no doubt that I wasn’t fit for much at all. I had not idea how it had happened but the very traumatic years with my ex-wife (6 years) had caused me to go on a huge mental spiral of negativeness and I clung to fears and worries like they were a comfort – I was very frightened of the world. Terrified on doing simple normal things like getting the groceries I would shake and sometimes even cry. Somewhat superstitious too.
I thought that I was the biggest loser in the world. I figured that I had ruined my marriage and that I was to blame for everything (I wasn’t but depressions makes us feel that way). I was totally convinced that there was no hope for me at all. (Later on when you get your confidence back you come to see things as they really are and then reality sets in and you know that you are not to blame for other peoples behavior and the things that they do wrong etc) I didn’t realise until after I was cured of all this that I actually had a problem. I thought that the world was right (Society and the judgments of other people) and that they (the world, everyone…) would be so much better off without me.
Some people and some things would make me very nervous and filled my heart with fears and constant worries and that physically affected me to sometimes embarrassing extents. I was chronically depressed and a total nervous wreck.With my new found faith in God I changed and became better. Results were good and my children helped but God showed me much and gave me much hope. If I had a wife back then who cared and loved me my healing would have been much faster and with gratefulness our love would have brought us even closer together.
Thankfully I wrote many of the things that I did to help myself heal in a book. So I can help other people who went through the same things.My healing involved no drugs, and no group therapy. God had me mix with the right people at the right times when I was ready to do so. Time, patience and someone who really cares makes a huge difference in mental and emotional healing.
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Love has a lot to do with cures. A wise doctor will tell anyone that love and tender care from other people really does make a large difference and does speed up healing time.
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Believing in God helps too because it means that we have a greater spiritual force that can help and guide us and we could put our faith in as well. In fact many very proud people become believers in God after some traumatic experience – this is when they realise that what they thought was a safe and secure belief system was simply a society gone wrong and when it came to the crunch they cannot really help.Once people believe in God, and are shown love and care they can get hope in their heart and the work goes on positively from there. We really do need something to believe in. It really helps if we have someone to believe in as well when we are healing.There is so much comfort when we are in the arms of people who really love us and that will encourage us to a better future.For those reading this who feel that they have no hope I want you to know that being depressed is simply a bad mental condition and that we can get away from it to freedom. You are not hopeless or helpless. With the right care and love anyone can be cured/helped if they want to be and try.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
January 2, 2013 at 2:33 PM.
What do you want in a relationship joined in marriage?
A companion.
A Friend to count on when things are hard.
Someone who will encourage you.
Someone who will stay and won’t go away.
Someone who can be trusted with other people.
Honesty, integrity, trust, a just person who will stand up strong for you when others won’t.
Someone who needs you for who you are and will help you up when you fall and
help you learn what you don’t know.
Someone to keep you warm nights, forever.
Someone to share those simple intimate moments that only the two of you can understand.
A protector.
A touch of class.
A defender of the poor, a protector of the weak, an upholder of God’s laws.
A good father for your children (or mother for your children).
Someone you can count on forever and always through thick and thin.
Someone to be romantic with.
Someone to hug deeply as if both bodies and souls blend into one and it really feels “right”.
Someone to hold hands with, weed the garden with, cook with, do the dishes with, share with, be with, care with, because being with them is more important than being with others.
Doing the unimportant things together with the right person takes away the boredom and makes them interesting, fun and alive.
Someone to be there at childbirth, strong and able, capable to hold the baby, in gentle hands marvelling at the miracle of birth of this small creation made with love.
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Those are the thoughts that filled my heart,
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from James M Sandbrook.
October 22, 2012
“A year from now you may wish you had started today.” – Karen Lamb.
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Let us not wait a year to find out that we could have done better in 2018. Lets do what we want to see done this year, even if we must give up some things and take some risks to make these changes happen. You are worthy, as worthy as anyone else. And you deserve your dreams just as anyone else does. Go for it, because
no one else is going to make your dreams come true, they are too busy with their own.
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For self respect, self love, and for the sake of our future children, let us all be doers and not self deceivers.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
January 2, 2018 at 2:39 PM.
Marriage:
Both thinking alike, with like-minds, and both thinking together.
Sin
The failing in the teaching that sex before marriage is a sin, is that the word sin has never been explained and it is not taught about the damage of sin in our lives or the long term effects. Sin is all too tied to religion, and since God is not any religion, nor is God any religious book, then sin is not understood because atheists hate the word because in their materialistic minds controlling themselves means not having fun.
God is spiritual love, deeply caring, and Satan is evil and deeply hating humans.
Sin is living on what they would call the dark side, its living a satanic life, and because Satan is the great deceiver those rolling in the filth are unaware what they joyfully partake in sin each day, and while they laugh at the thought of Sodom, they are living everyday like the people who lived in Sodom before it was destroyed.
There was a time when people were able to think of any sinful act and feel physically sick by the very thought of it, and because of this deep feeling conviction that sin’s were evil, immoral, indecent and would harm our very own futures people tried to avoid sin like it was a disease that was a msut to avoid.
People brought up in materialism will suffer in many different ways because they sin, but they know not what they are doing, the confusion is like the confusion that they had back in the day over cigarette smoking, because some people who didn’t smoke got lung cancer, and people who didn’t smoke didn’t get lung cancer, yet many who did smoke got many cancers, it was hard to connect the dots and realise, that what they were partaking in, while it seemed nice, it was killing many of them, and many would suffer in many other ways from smoking.
Sin is the same. The payment is not immediate most of the time, so people don’t see the sins that they partake in as being the cause of their future sufferings.
It is easy to walk away laughing, and blame bad luck, insult god/s, or whatever when your payback comes, but thats the other point.
The point is that you will always get a payback for your sins, each and every one, up to the day you die, and even on the day that you die, its a law.
Your participation in sinful living, especially regular sinful living affects your life, and in a cover way attacks your mind, so much so, that one gets so use to a particular sin or many sins that he or she will assume that there is no guilt, no shame, and no affect on their life because as far as they have seen there has been none, or the paybacks are irregular it seems thus they assume that the bad events in their lives are coincidences and just happen because from time to time bad things do happen.
If a person feels no guilt then there is no reason to stop what he or she is doing that is wrong. Genuine Guilt is supposed to help i=us see the error of our ways, to discover that we did wrong, and thus we need to be quickly responsible and fix it up or it will get worse over time.
People who do evil can be protected and watched over by evil, because those people are furthering evil on Earth,, they are causing suffering, and especially messing up people’s minds.
People who mess up people’s lives, learning curves and health and cannot see that they are doing this are immensely apathetic and immature, because they do not feel guilt, they do not suffer for their wrongs in their own minds and because they see no wrong in their wrong-doing, they keep doing it. These people are honoured by evil, because they are satanic, active in evil doings while here and there being good people as well.
The Teaching of Sin, is taught to help people avoid sin, so much so, that sin is no longer a temptation. Thus when people offer the night out, the sins in whatever form you say a very happy, “No way!” and protect yourself.
Level of the playing ground of life and consider a life without sinful living and sinful activities.
A good decent life is the result, but materialists and atheists assume that this means a boring life.
Instant Backlash: Southern California District Sues Over Newsom’s New Gender Law (msn.com)
The democrats are using this tactic to say that if Trump wins the election all sorts of violence will happen, but when Trump was president before it didn’t happen. Because the Democrats are fearing a loss, they talk as if what they say are facts even though in the past they never happened and obviously the future has not yet happened, so they are frightening people in to voting for the Democrats.
Because liberal voters want their side to win (like a netball game) they are already mind-prepared (trained) to accept anything that the Democrat leaders say and to reject any evidence that proves the opposite of what they want to believe. So if they say that the shooting of Trump was faked they are now spreading that lie everywhere. If they say that Trump was in the past a terrible president (with no proof) and that he will be a terrible president int he future they will totally believe this as a fact and not a suggestion.
Scaremongering:
noun: scaremongering; noun: scare-mongering the spreading of frightening or ominous reports or rumours.
“claims of scaremongering about the fate of jobs”
adjective
adjective: scaremongering; adjective: scare-mongering
spreading frightening or ominous reports or rumours.
“scaremongering tactics designed to frighten voters”
– Oxford languages.
The now call it The Woke Mind Virus.
Cleaning the lounge, kitchen, and doing loads of washing.
I am posting a bunch of video’s on the Tokoroa History page.
Sexual Identity and making it the most important part of you.Like screaming I am woman, or homosexual or lesbian, or whatever, its like saying that this part you cling to as your most important part of you and the rest of you is unimportant. And if you focus only on that part then you will think mostly only of that part, become fiercely proud of that, demand people see that part of you and be proud of it alongside of you and so on. Its demeaning and putting ourselves down when whatever sexual behavior a person has they demand the world knows it, supports it, and is proud of whatever gets you off in bed.
Thats also what immaturity would demand.
Sex used to be seen as sacred, personal, kept in the bedroom, and not public. Childishness in adults brings out the worst in us because childish people do no have the strength and common sense of maturity to maintain self control and do not have common sense, the ability to read a situation and deice the most effective yet mature stable way to deal with the situation.
Putting On Appearances.
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Doing things because they are what is expected of us to do, but not necessarily what we really want to do.
Freedom is found when we do what we want to do because we want to do it.
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Slavery is doing things that are expected of us but we don’t believe in them or want to do them.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
January 2, 2018 at 8:37 PM.
