It is easy and natural to get uncontrollably angry when we have been wronged, but to be angry means that we have lost before we started because we lost control of our mind, emotions and what we are doing. To be angry is to lose control of our emotions and from there on we can do any stupid, violent and foolish things that we will deeply regret later on. It is best to leave anger out of our life and react with self control and a wish to make things right or to deal with the situation another day when calmed down and able to think clearly.
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It is also easy to be very angry at someone who has broken our heart so deeply and so emotionally and anger and retaliation can seem the most natural and gratifying feelings from being hurt so deeply. The problem with returning hate for hate that it stops any future reconciliation, or makes it very difficult because of swollen pride and hurt feelings etc. Many a good friendship and true love has been destroyed by anger and the refusal to make things right because one feels unable to lower his or her pride to fix things up.
But if we return hate with love, compassion and understanding we keep the door open for apologies and full repentance (the apology must be accompanied with full repentance – the deep regret of having wronged someone, and an apology and change of heart, getting right with the one we wronged and repairing the damage as best as we can do).
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Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
– Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Romans Chapter 12, verses 14-21:
Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.
Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.
Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
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The logic is simple and should be taught in schools, and that is that hate + hate = total darkness and only a bad unhappy result.
Hate + Love in return = a result that leaves the door open for repair, new friendships, and the dissolving of hate.
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Children should all be shown that there are better ways to deal with situations. They see so much hate and violence on TV and movies and in books that they think that this is the only way to retaliate or react to situations that are uncomfortable or hard on them.
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The world will only become a better place to live when we, the people, get back to the basics and get our priorities right.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
17th of February, 2017.