Some people get lost in “magical thoughts” and “magical words” and they give them such meaning in their adult life that they can think that to some degree that they are true.
And to some degree we can blame years of watching fantasy, Disney etc as our teachers of life to some degree. But if we have common sense teachings “of real life” to balance out our thinking then fantasy won’t affect us as adults.
Charles Dickens showed us the example in the 1800’s of a woman who faints and her daughter copies her mother perfectly and faints right beside her mother. The daughter sees some kind of common sense to her mother’s madness, and if the mother is stressed or does not get her way she resorts to fainting dramatically to get attention and what she wants. The daughter follows suit.
Some Mothers say, “If you don’t stop arguing with me I will have a heart attack (or something similar).” And the child brought up in a toxic home sees with great fear that her arguments could magically kill her mother, so obediently the daughter accepts defeat and does as she is told.
The Father may say, “Look honey, you are upsetting your mother. Please keep the peace. You are driving your mother up the wall.” And the child thinks that to keep the peace in the home, and to not magically drive her mother crazy she must become a pleaser, someone who does what others want and doesn’t meet her own needs in her life. She may even feel that she is the cause of family shame and suffering and hold much guilt.
Magical fairytales. Females waiting for her prince charming, a man to rescue her, so he will sweep her off her feet and deliver her from the madness in her life with a toxic family.
Males searching for the perfect woman. All men must be heroes in his eyes. He must be strong, tough and able.
We get told so many fairytales as a child in books, movies, videos etc, that we mentally consume a large amount of data that makes no sense whatsoever. Then as adults we try to sift through all that data while the stress of marriage, children, job, debts, parties, alcohol and drug abuses, just makes the confusion worse.
But if we had been brought up in a stable home with good values and parents that cared enough to show us common sense, right from wrong, and to help us learn our gender roles, and learn how to be a stable, loving, responsible husband or wife and a fair parent, then we would mentally distance our mind from fairytale thinking and magical thoughts that did not make any sense at all.
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Your adult life is a struggle if you don’t get the right education from your parents, and if you were abused etc.
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Please listen to your thoughts. Listen to how others talk to you. You may have fairytale thoughts that you allow to guide you. Please don’t let other people try to make you believe in fairytale thoughts, because of they do then they after up to something bad.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Monday, 6 June 2016, 3:18:07 PM.