Years ago a female partner and I were arguing. I reacted badly and she said, “Just like your father” and that comment shocked me.
So I took stock of my life and my character. I asked myself busy how much was I like my father?
My father gave my mother a black eye and didn’t seem worried about it at all. Could I become that cold about cowardly violence.
I got scared, real scared, I desperately didn’t want to turn out like my father. But at that time I was drinking alcohol a lot, arguing a lot, didn’t have much control of my temper or emotions. I was worried. I knew my faults, I was brutally honest.
°
I took a long hard look at my father’s character in my mind. I noted on paper all his worse points. Like
Instant temper.
Bad language.
Violent.
Hit women.
Drug and alcohol abuse.
Terrible parent etc.
And then with all my heart and soul I removed any resemblance of his character from mine.
By this period of my life I had lost all respect for both my parents, and I deeply feared being like them.
°
It is horrible that we copy our parents bad points, especially if they are narcissists. But do note, that a narcissist will sneakily train you to be a narcissist like them. They trick is into thinking that we are doing a good thing, but the reality is that we are being mean, evil and nasty.
Hitler tricked the German people into thinking that they were attacking an evil enemy, yet in reality the Germans were the bad guys.
They trick us into thinking that we are using self defense, but instead we are attacking the innocent, the enemies of the narcissists. The narcissists get the innocent and gullible to do their dirty work, and when the people want someone to blame for the evil deeds, “you get the blame” and the narcissist has excuses and alibis to cover up their part in the evil doing.
°
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Saturday, 7 May 2016, 9:09:57 PM.