Many of us have the attitudes and issues, especially the weaknesses of our parents.
For instance a parent can be a narcissist. That parent could decide to make an enemy of someone and treat him very cruely, and the daughter could do the same.
The daughters mother would fake being the victim as narcissists do, and the many would gather around the mother protectively. This is just what the mother wants, and this one tool is very useful to the narcissist, keeping her from the danger, revenge and fury of people that the narcissist has hurt.
The daughter has seen how this successfully has worked for her mother, so the daughter would do the very same with people, possibly even with the same victim.
The mother and daughter “play the victims” while the victim is really the innocent man that they falsely accuse. But people attack the victim because they have been fully seduced by the true narcissists, the mother and daughter.
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Instead of the daughter seeing that what she was doing as unfair, mean and cruel, she sees that playing the victim is a useful tool to get sympathy, people backing her up, and it is an excuse to avoid life or things that she doesn’t want to face, or do. The popularity helps boost her ego and tells her that she is doing the right thing.
She finds ways to justify her narcissist behavior, as all narcissists do. She self-talks in her own mind of her innocence etc.
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Many daughters take on the tools of their narcissist mothers. They tend to see the results of their mothers nasty tools and they use them on friends and people who try to help them. As the daughter grows up she tries these tools on friends, boyfriends etc, then bosses and the young narcissist is even so clever that they fool therapists “to the narcissist daughter’s advantage” of course. This helps in court cases etc of people who take the narcissist to court.
In the end people and relationships become tools for them, protection, and stepping stones to further their careers and life. To the narcissist, life is “all about them”. You may be in the narcissists life, but always only to the narcissists advantage. The narcissist will twist things to make you feel that you are in good hands, that is how the narcissist works.
The friends are all victims too, because they want to believe in the sad plot of their friend, so they gullibly believe, and the narcissists daughter gathers people around her to suit her purpose, just as she has a seen her mother do for years.
The daughter will fake fear, act like she is struggling (and in some cases she really will be struggling because “being the lost victim” is a tool that has become a part of her existence, her pathetic character, her life).
The daughter will even talk herself into believing that the blood shed of the innocent person is a good thing. Years of living with her mother has shown her how her mother did the very same.
The daughter saw how the Police and other legal services backed her lying mother up, and the daughter saw this as a way to get her way in the world. She saw how her mother was so clever at twisting the truth’s and how the mother was able to get people to believe her mother and how her mother achieved success not from honesty but from dishonesty.
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So this way of life became the daughters rules of survival. No one is ever close to her mother’s heart, and the same is for the daughter.
Both the mother and daughter know how to “play the honourable friend, the loving wife, the caring workmate, and the sacrificing mother”, but to them it is only a game. And both the mother and daughter can walk away from “any relationship” without a twinkling of regret. Because underneath all that faking they have a heart of stone.
The narcissist and daughter can be extremely convincing playing the poor pathetic victim. But if you read any book on classic narcissism you will read that if the narcissist plays the victim long enough then they become fully convinced that they are the victim. Their lies become truth’s in their own eyes, and they can become very scared of someone who is completely no threat to them at all.
Narcissism is a mental disease. In modern society it is not illegal and is not treated as a mental disease. This is why so many narcissists are in politics and are parents, no one stops them. Part of my writings are to open people’s eyes to how narcissists are using your love and friendships to the narcissists advantage.
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Recently I posted a video from Dr Phil, of a mother narcissist, and even after it was proven beyond doubt to the mothers face that she was cruel and mean, the narcissist mother was crying tears of self-sympathy and fully believed that she was the victim and not the attacker.
This is proof that you can argue with the narcissist as much as you want, but you will never get through to them. They need full psychiatric help.
Like the drug and alcohol addiction, until they admit that he or she has a problem “to themselves” they will simply continue to be a narcissist.
All the best from James Martin Sandbrook.
Sunday, 21 February 2016, 10:28:56 AM.