Many people will allow biological family to push them around because they are biological family
Years ago I came up with (for myself) a thought, and it was that, “Would I be friends with a family member by choice?”
Would I like a family members character enough to be that person’s friend “if he or she was Not a biological family member?”
For instance, my father. Dad’s character is probably 90% different from mine. We are opposites in character, our beliefs are opposites, our view of life, love, and women are totally opposite. I completely disagree with dad about drugs, alcohol, and sex. He has no idea how to be a gentlemen, this is the opposite of my character. He is sarcastic, mean, judgemental, and unforgiving etc, completely the opposite of me.
Would I choose anyone like my father to live with me or be a friend of mine? Not a chance. I have no joy being around my father, and now I have no expectations that he will ever change enough for me to enjoy his company. So I removed him from my life and I have never regretted that move.
And I am happy about that, it doesn’t bother me. You see, we need to put biological family in their proper place in our lives as adults.
No one is perfect, but just because of the person being a biological family member it does not mean that this person should be given permission (by myself) to stay in my life and make me miserable.
Family members are just other people who we have spent a lot of time with. They are not god’s, and we shouldn’t idolize them, and we need to recognize seven we are being taken advantage of and respect ourself enough to remove ourself from that person’s life.
No one needs toxic parents, narcissists, or faker in their life. It is illogical, and yet because of the Mothers Day Myth, Father’s Day Myth, and Biological Family adoration myth, we cling to people who are very bad for our future and happiness.
People will put up with abuse, bad treatment, narcissistic behavior etc from family members because society brainwashed us into being devoted to the biological nuclear family.
We let the bad way that they treat us go over our head and we can make pathetic excuses to ourselves for why it happens, and why we let it happen to us. Every time we let them get away with something we lose respect for ourselves. Please don’t make excuses for toxic bad family behavior.
Every time we allow them to make choices for us and abuse us we give them permission to do it in the future. The only way to stop this is to cut them off cleanly.
As Jesus showed us, the Spiritual Family are those who think as we do. People who are like us. People who believe what we do, think like we do, and encourage is to help us spiritually grow. These are our kind of people.
And there is no reason not to have a complete family that has no biological family members in it at all.
Choose your own family, it is something that you will never regret doing.
All the best from James Martin Sandbrook.
Wednesday, 27 January 2016, 1:47:46 PM.