I was never taught about boundaries or saying, “No!”
Young people, all of us, need to know that we are important, valuable, and that if we feel that something is not right, does not fit our beliefs, and just isn’t what we feel comfortable with, we should be able to say, “No!” and people should respect that.
We could change our thoughts about it in the future, but at this moment if we don’t want to do something then saying, “No!” should be enough.
You see, we sometimes cannot explain to others (they won’t understand or get it) that inner-feelings of doubt, or what our instincts tell us, or how we feel about something. And because we cannot explain it other people try to argue with us and tell us that we need a reason for saying no. But the reality is that we don’t need a reason for others to understand, what we feel is right or wrong is more than enough. All we need to know is that if we don’t want to do something, who cares if the crowd is doing it, or if it is popular, we all, each one of us has the right to choose for ourselves at any given time, and we have the right to change that in the future, but the point is that freedom is making our own choices and those who say that they are our friends should respect what we think an what we want for our own life. And those who claim to love us should stand by us and support us pleased that we have our own value, strong views and should want the best for our own future.
If people claim to love us or to be our friends and yet they lead us to places we don’t want to go to or they try to pressure us into doing what they do then they are not friends, they are trying to lead us from our own values, and take us into something we know is wrong, to be like them – misery loves company.
A great way to test our own inner strength is to say, “No!” and stand up against the crowd. It is a wonderful feeling believing in yourself and doing what you think is right and good. You may find that you are alone for a while but in time you will find other strong willed people who are just like you.
All the best from
J Sandbrook.
15th of December, 2018.
