Friends:
Respect is what we expect from our friendships. One of the problems we face when we come to believe in God is that our friends may laugh, some may make fun of us, and some may think that we have “sold out” of the fun life. All untrue but the reaction of old friends can cause someone to go back to the old ways because of hurt feelings (remember before we wanted to impress these people) and if
we go back to their ways and thinking we will even allow ourselves to do shameful things and abuse ourselves just to keep old friendships alive.
A part of our inner-strength is being able to walk away from those friends and family that used to take advantage of us. Weakened by society we couldn’t stand up to those who took advantage of us or who didn’t respect us, but now as changed people and knowing better we can stand up for ourselves and walk away from the issues and drama’s of the past. We love ourselves enough to give ourselves better.
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If we have to do shameful things to keep our old friendships then those are really not friendships at all, those are fair-weather friends (A friend who is only a friend when circumstances are pleasant or profitable to them). These friendships are found all through our lives and cannot be counted on when times get rough and when we need love and help. Fair-weather friends will stay with you if there is an
advantage to them, otherwise they move off or try to drag you with them. They live carefree lives and want people to be carefree with them or life for them would be boring.
If your old friends come to you and try to push you into the old-ways like a night out with the girls or the boys (which you have decided is not for you anymore) and you tell them so and then the pressure is laid on – that is a measurement of your friendship with them. If they respect your new decision then they will stand by that choice forever
John Chapter 15, verses 11-12: These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
If they really love you and care as a friend should then it would show as it should, as you imagine that it would.
If you are a teenager and you give up the drugs, the alcohol, parties and bad habits of the days before you believed in God then your friends should respect your decisions and you will come under no pressure from them at all. The same goes for family who don’t understand God and God’s ways – they should not lay the pressure on you either. Always remember your true family are those who follow the ways of Christ. If your biological family love you enough to totally support you in your new faith then that is wonderful but if they try to pressure you to going back to the old ways and don’t respect your new decisions then that is not good for your faith or your future.
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If we stay with family and friends who pressure us to going back to the ways of evil then eventually we will follow them and our life will pay for it. Its just not worth keeping those old relationships except to help them in the future when we are strong enough to do so.
The joyful future under the guidance of God takes some time to learn and being in a loving positive environment puts us way ahead in learning and we change much faster because we are in caring hands that have already have been through the changes and willingly want to help guide us through them to see us mature as a kind, confident loving person, ready for a new life.
We can gain from all this by realizing that we can measure who our friends are and that we shouldn’t accept friends and family who put us down and don’t respect us. And they shouldn’t be our guides in life especially on important matters.
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We can measure our true friends by the way they react to our decisions and that true friends wont tell us what to think or how to think. They will accept that we have changed for the better.
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All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
7 February 2013.