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If We Run With Fools We Become A Fool
We are encouraged to be friends with basically anyone we come across in school.
In the classroom we can be punished for not getting on with someone.
We are told that being a part of the team is important, good for us, good for the entire team. The members of the class being friends is very helpful for the teacher, because there will be less interruptions and less fighting. So teamwork and friendships are very important for the school, teachers and the learning of the students.
Imagine, you have a bully in your street, you go to school, and the teacher tries to force you to take part in activities and be friends with the person who beats you up after school. This causes much confusion and misunderstandings for a child – instincts say “run” or fight back, while school pressures say, be friends.
If our parents have no real definition of what a fool is, and are dysfunctional themselves and irresponsible, then they will tell you, as you are growing up, to be friends with people who other people would tell you to avoid, people who are irresponsible and toxic like your parents are.
People see no error in how they are, thus they encourage their own children to be with people who are like the parents – and the children see in the other adults the dysfunction and toxicity that their own parents are (what they are familiar with as children), so they feel comfortable around people like their own parents.
Consider children brought up in gang homes, the children often grow up to be gang members, because this is the lifestyle that they have always known, embraced and defended. They don’t see the drug behavior, alcohol abuse, criminal activities and so on as bad, in fact to them it is simply normal.
Growing up and becoming mature with age, is when a child is taught how to learn, how to think, what to accept, what one should not accept, and how to be responsible.
If the child is not shown how to be responsible, and he or she only knows parent-approved people who are irresponsible in day-to-day living, then the child will not be able to tell the difference between being responsible and irresponsible – and if their adult heroes as they are growing up are dysfunctional, irresponsible and toxic, the youngsters will come to see those people as fun, courageous, and who they would like to be when they become adults.
Its all about blending in with people in a day to day life who are influential enough to groom (intentionally or not) the children to become carbon copies of the irresponsible adults. We need to understand that irresponsible adults see no wrong in themselves, so they would love to help your children to become like them.
When we grow up and are in the company of such foolish and irresponsible people we are living what we assume is the good life. We can be reckless, unloving but assume that we are loving (A foolish person is often a person who thinks of themselves in a good way yet is actually the opposite – “The fool thinks he is good company for your family”), and we can enjoy the habits of the irresponsible, such
as drinking alcohol, parties, going to drinking places, partaking in drug abuse, casual sex, maybe can’t hold a job down and so on.
When one of you wants to break away from such a lifestyle, yet stays friends with the foolish, it is impossible to become knew whilst embracing the old.
The foolish and irresponsible of which we hold so dear to our own foolish hearts refuse to let us go to a lifestyle that they do not understand, and thus like seducing demons they keep tempting us, talking us out of wanting to change, they offer us free drinks, parties, events, drugs, casual sex, whatever they can to keep us as they are, and as you are but you are trying to escape from.
What were what we thought of as “friends” are in fact just a group of people of like-minded activities and thinking, who have never really “healthily bonded” or loved anyone, but as children we formed the thought in our minds that these are our friends “because people who we spend time with are friends”.
The word “friend” to me meant people I was with a lot, because we liked or loved each other, and wanted to be with one another for a lot of our lives. I valued such people because they wanted to be with me. But the reality is that they liked me because I was partaking in toxic activities alongside of them, and they thought I was fun to be with in that sense – this is an Apathetic Friendship.
The trappings of fake-friendships/Apathetic Friendships are not obvious to people who have never been taught what a fake-friendship is, what they consist of and how fake people take advantage of us.
If we don’t know how they take advantage of us and instead we welcome them in to our space and lives we are in fact, setting ourselves up for struggle, personal suffering and very possibly addictions, because even if they don’t drink alcohol or take drugs they can mentally disturb us and mess up our minds so much so that we need mental health care just to get past a simple day.
People who are not good for us cause us anxieties, irrational fears, depression as we try to logically understand irresponsible illogical people (as we try to make them logical and good people in our minds so that they can remain our friends), thus we are seeing ourselves (seeing our own character) in people who are not who we are, and many have a different Belief-System and they also have a different Life-Foundation below them to stand on.
We tend to cling to people who have been with us for years not because they are good people, but because we wish that they are good people, and we don’t want to let go of the dream that they are faithful and good friends offering love, good wholesome fair companionship, and we want to believe that can trust them completely.
We can see these people will offer what appears to be love, friendship, fairness, desires and compassion, this is because they have learned to give you what you want them to be, so that they can continue to be in your Life-Space enjoying the benefits of the relationship, but they don’t actually care for us at all.
We tend to teach people how to treat us.
Thus once they realise your character and that it is good, they assume that you will expect the same from them, so they modify their character, habits likes and dislikes when they are around you to ensure that you will remain dedicated, faithful and true to them.
Because some people are very giving and kind the fake friends will take and take, and give little back – what they give back is just enough for their victims to think that they have a good friend, and so some kindness once in a while is enough to make you think that they are faithful and true.
When we want someone to be our friend we tend to ignore the lack of balance in the relationship, we prefer to only remember what comforts us, and what we think fondly and kindly off in our experiences with this person.
People base their lives on their Belief Systems, the Life Foundation below them, Life’s Experiences and most importantly their Maturity or Lack of Maturity.
The reason why people, who we feel are friends, cause us to stay as we were and don’t want us to progress and depart from addictions and our old ways that were harming us physically and mentally, is because the manipulator desires us as we were, easy to manipulate, control and have their way with.
This should be a warning to us all.
If we want to change for the better of our mind, life and health, all very good things for any person to want, yet those around us are always feeding our addictions, old ways, and encouraging us to go back or are angry that we want to change, they cannot be friends or good people, and mostly they cannot possibly want us to be happy, healthy and to have a good decent life.
The last thing that they want is for us is for us to change and become better people, so instinctively they react in ways that take us back to our old ways.
They may try to tempt us back to the old ways by offering us our addictions to weaken us, or offering us a way to live that includes our addictions, thus we think that we are happy yet we are still weakened by our addictions that control us.
While we can be loving to friends, and we are faithful, suffering but always hopeful for a happy change, better health and a better life, our “friends” are collectively completely against our desire to have better health, and so on, because if we were to change we would see them as they really are and their benefits from the relationship would change.
Just as you become accustomed and bond with your fake-friends, they do the same with you.
They don’t want that profitable bond to end. Please realise that for some people they need an ego boost, they desire friendships based on them being in control, controlling another persons life, and their ego is very boosted by the thought that the “friend” wants them because they trust them so much.
Also, a narcissist manipulator type can be told over and over again by their victim/s that they are wonderful people, so many times that they come to believe that they are in fact a wonderful person, and the victim thinks so thus this means that the victim likes to be controlled, ruled over, seduced, used and abused, and that to the narcissist manipulator is wonderful because all their power and abusive behaviour feeds their ego and pride and makes them feel so useful and needed.
A mature mind can see what is wrong here, but to the insecure immature mind they see irrationally, childishly, and they want impossible situations to be possible (like the fairytale) and so to the immature mind it is not how they get that feel-good-feeling, its just that they get it, and if they are praised, adored, trusted and liked because of it, the better.
The reason why Parents should bring up their own children and teach them about life, courage, right from wrong, and the evils in the world, is so that the child grows in to a mature adult and can recognize people who take advantage of other people easily. Good parenting has us defending and protecting those in need while re-educating them, whilst recognizing evil ways and avoiding them in our own lives.
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