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Its Just Their Opinion
For example, you are a good person,. You have good values, your work ethics are sound, and you make sure that you stay this way, and sometimes that can be a struggle, but you are happy you deny temptations and have a good character.
One day you come across a man the same age as you, he is loud, has tattoo’s, is wearing a gang patch and so on. He confronts you, calls you names, and you feel insulted and angry for his being as he is when to you he is clearly (to you) a lesser soul, weak-minded and is immature and loose thinking.
Pride can mentally-blind us to truths, and also cause us to be harmful to people who don’t deserve it. It can be hard to take abuse or to see people as uncut-diamonds, but like the onion, if we peel off all the layers deep within is a person who, “but for the grace of God goes I”, could have been you had you been brought up in that culture or as a criminal or wealthy person.
If we see him with pride, arrogance and ego, we lose sight of his real character of which even he does not know. Many people are brought up in criminal or gang homes, many in middle class homes, and many wealthy, these people are formed by their environment. Thus when the gang member insults you, he see’s you as a person who he was taught probably by family and friends to look down on.
You can have your middle-class pride and he will have his gang pride. Both of you have lived a life that was put-upon-you by others, and your Soul, that was empty at birth, is now a collection of memories, lessons, thinking, from that environment that you grew up in.
For example, the Indigenous races have been known to capture (such as the Maori or Apache and so on) in the past, a European youth/child (or other race that has entered or invaded their country) and brought that child up as their own child. The white child in the Apache tribe becomes an Apache and can even hate and kill the white settlers in the USA. This shows us that colour of skin makes no difference to who you are, but the environment that you grow up in and are encouraged and taught in, creates the mentality of the person, judgments, so much so, that the person who was captured as a child can be mentally formed to hate and kill their own race and deeply sympathize with the human race/culture that he or she was brought up in.
If we see that people are a product of the environment that he or she was brought up in we can see that there is a different person within. The possibility of reaching such a soul and helping he or she become who they were born to be, brave, strong willed, mature and honest, is there.
So the next time someone comes up to you and is abusive, judgmental, or harsh, please realise that this person is seeing you in their mind from a Soul of memories that came from their upbringing, or maybe a bad event that happened in their life and has caused this person to be unfairly judgmental or prejudice.
The point is, that he or she is seeing you from his or her own opinion, an opinion created from his or her own past, and that means that he or she is not necessarily right about you at all. How people react to you is merely an opinion that this person has formed over a period of time, and also is someone who has not lived what you have lived, but if that person had grown up as you, it is very likely that this person who is judging you would have been the very same person who you are today.
Once a person got upset at me and called me some nasty very judgmental statements. All of which were wrong. It came from me trying to explain something to that person, he lost his temper at me and refused to let me explain the rest and went off angry at me, refusing to hear my side of the events. Then the next time he saw me he told me what he thought of me (the nasty very judgmental statements), all without letting me finish what I had originally tried to explain.
I finally felt no desire to explain what happened to someone who was determined to only believe his version of events. It shows me character that can only believe their own version. I learned that with some people no matter what you say it really means nothing, they only want to hear their view.
Some people can be “Shallow”, not deep thinkers, and they want people to be as they wish them to be, and they want life to be as they wish it to be (mostly in their favour) and they get judgmental and angry at life and you if are not as they want you to be.
The reality is that they don’t really want to hear-you-out, what they want is to hear themselves tell you what they think of you, and you to say and do nothing about it, its an ego feed and makes them feel that their opinions and judgments of you is correct.
Some people have version of life, events and you in their own mind, and they want you to agree with what they think or they want to hear you repeat what they think, and especially they want you to repeat their version of you back to them, no matter how damning or judgmental they are, or how wrong they are about you.
You will come across people during your life who have already judged you before you say anything. They can assume that they are right, you are wrong, and regardless of anything you say that clearly shows your innocence or that you were not wrong, or even that the both of you were wrong, that person will not hear what you are saying, only the opinion that he or she has already formed about you.
This all reminds me a James Herriot book where he was talking to his boss, who was in his car. James was talking to his boss about dogs, and his boss went on that keeping dogs as pets was foolish and that they should be working dogs and so on.
The conversation was fine, except for one thing. James’ boss was surrounded in the car with his own pet dogs. James was rather bewildered that his boss who said he didn’t like people having dogs as pets had dogs that were pets in the car with him at this very moment and he was completely unaware of it.
During your life you will meet many people who will not give you the chance to explain, nor will they understand you no matter how hard you try, and nor will anything you think, say or do, change that person’s judgmental opinion of you.
The sooner we realize that it is just the other person’s opinion, and that we don’t need to change that opinion, we can walk away realizing that they have issues that they refuse to deal with. Even with the plain truth in front of some people they refuse to believe what is obvious and clear. Some may have an agenda that they tend to cling to and allow to guide them, many will have opinions and judgments of people formed within them during their upbringing and they see nothing but what they assume to be true.
What is good for your Soul is walking away, letting what that person said go from your mind, and getting on with your day. By doing this you are not admitting that the other person was right, what it means is that you value your peace of mind more that people figuring you out wrong.
I do go with the thought that even my worst enemy could be right about something in my character, so I will listen, but if I cannot see anything coming from them but prideful immature unjustified attacks I remember who said it, and then walk away.
Please don’t let other people’s views of you determine your own view of yourself. You are seeing yourself from your life, and the mind of a human being, they are as well but from their own personal views.
Also, you should not irrationally judge other people from your own point of view.
People can misjudge us through Wilful-Blindness – Intentionally ignoring or avoiding obvious facts that would lead to knowledge of a situation, thereby seeking to avoid liability or responsibility for a wrongful act.
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