This is the book I am going through chapter after chapter, it is huge, and am modifying with what I know now abut mental health, the human condition, God and life in general. I am also trimming out stuff that is no longer relevant or that I have new views and understandings about.
15 Chapters.
Start In First Gear
Be Satisfied With What You Have.- Be satisfied with what you currently have and life will feel more enjoyable.
Surround Yourself With Good People – Good company improves your life.
Add Some Music To Your day – Brighten your day with happy or relaxing music.
Believe In The World – Accepting the responsibility of being on this planet and loving it.
Finding The Best In People – We are all the same really, dealing with our lives.
We Are All Equal – You and I are the from the same Mind Modal.
Back To The Basics – Stripping off all the additional attachments and being the real you.
The World Is Not A Bad Place – About us seeing the world in a positive light.
Facing The Truth About Ourselves – Let us start from the beginning.
Be Positive In Voice – Speak to other people with positive statements.
Be Positive Physically – Use positive body language to make people happy.
Be The Best That You Can Be – Try to be as good as you can be.
Looking After Yourself
The Body – About your body and how special it is.
Improving Your Health – Ideas for healthy living.
Exercise And Health Plan – Exercises that you can do to improve your body structure and stamina.
Learning To Relax – About how to relax and why.
Walking, Meditation And Relaxing – Walking and breathing exercise.
Only Your Brain Can Save You – You cannot think without a good brain, success depends on it.
Clothing/Attire – Clothing ideas.
Your Appearance Is Important – About what you wear and how you feel wearing it. Tips and ideas.
Have The Courage To Say No – About not giving in to human weaknesses.
Corrective Measures
Idle Thinking –
Idle Conversation And Gossip-
I Am Not A Fool, I Am Not Stupid – About Personal Negative Abuse and how to beat it..
Temperament. Anger – Ways to beat the bad temper problem that many of us have.
Change Your Environment – Change your surroundings for peace of mind.
Controlling Arrogance – How to deflate an inflated person – You!
Self Discouraged – How your regrets work in your favour.
Break Bad Habits For The Fun Of It – Go ahead – make a change for the better.
Mistakes – How mistakes are a great advantage to us as we go through life.
Negative Simple Pleasures – And how they keep us away from the real pleasures in life.
Self Improvement
Something Can Always Be Done – As long as you are alive you can do something worthwhile.
Pre-Written Paths – Learning what God has in store for you.
Choices And Paths – The choices that you make and how they affect your life.
Good Choices – The choices that you have and what difference it makes in your life.
The Effects Of Right Or Wrong Choices – Make sure you are doing your best in all parts of your life.
Staying On The Right Path – Keeping on target.
Faith – Examples of how you had faith in yourself in the past and how you should have faith in yourself now.
Remove The Rough Edge – Take away those bad thoughts and words from your life.
Planning Patterns – Planning your day can help you become more relaxed.
Our Word Of Honor – Keeping your word.
Your Self Worth – About you and how you can believe in yourself with the help of God.
Use Misery To Spur You On – The miserable feeling that we get can actually be an asset when trying to move forward.
Self Encouragement – Idea about encouraging yourself.
State Of Mind
Life – Life is reality and a state of mind.
Challenges – How to react to life’s challenges.
Poverty – Its just a state of mind. Don’t let it control you and your life.
Humble – What it means to be humble.
Grief – Reaching people who are suffering mental grief, unhappiness and sorrow.
False Confidence – Not falling for false compliments etc.
Your Image – Re-Imaging yourself. Changing the way that you think of yourself.
Courage – About having courage to do the things that you want to do.
Claim To Fame – Being genuinely proud of the hobbies & interests that you have.
Vanity – The harm of being vain.
Writing Your Thoughts – Getting to know yourself better.
Solving Problems/Getting Answers – Relaxing ways to solve your problems.
Personal Development
Speech – Suggestions to help you improve your speech.
Bad Language – Some ideas to help guide you away from those nasty words.
Good And Bad Thoughts – Finding ways to improve your thoughts.
Composure – Helping you to act and be composed.
Deserted – The feeling of being deserted
Emotions – Dealing with your emotions.
Fasting – The value of fasting and how it can help you in many ways.
Friends – About genuine friends and what they are.
Etiquette – Improving Your Manners.
Dealing With Shyness – Helping people overcome shyness and its limitations.
The Moral System – Can It Help Us? – About morals and how having them is useful in our lives.
Stepping Out – Getting out to meet knew people.
Trust Yourself And Your Instinct – Learn to trust your “gut” feelings.
Peace Of Mind
Hope – About hope and how it can help you.
Forgiving Yourself – Dealing with the past and forgiving ourselves.
Learning To Let Go – Sometimes we have to let go of people that we love.
No Matter How You Try – Dealing with people who don’t recognise your help.
Finding New Ways To Deal With Situations – Approaching problems from a different angle.
Fun And Play – Learning to enjoy youthful fun again.
Sorrow – Dealing with sorrow.
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word – Learning to say sorry and smile about it.
Forgive Always – How to forgive and be happy you did it.
The Three Step Method To Forgiveness – How you can forgive yourself and throw away guilt.
The Three Step Method To Forgiving Others – How to forgive others and then move on.
Visitor Panic – How to not panic when you have to meet somebody who may make you life awkward.
God Only Knows
Finding God – Removing the dirt to see God clearly.
The Tools That God Gave Us – The tools to help you get through life.
Turning To God – Turning to God for help.
Being At Peace With God – Peaceful belief in Gods ways.
Our Beliefs – Being complete spiritually and physically and in our beliefs.
Gods Plans For You – Accepting Gods Plan for you and having the courage to complete it.
Trust In God – The benefits of trusting God with our lives.
The Power Of Prayer – How you can use the power of prayer in your life.
What To Say – Advice about what you can say when you pray.
Nothings Happening – Sometimes it appears that nothings happening when you pray.
Pray With Power And Depth – Put more into your prayers.
Make A List – A prayer list is often useful.
Trusting Jesus – Some notes about Jesus and trust.
Worship God Always And Do All Things to His Glory – Finding a reason for the mundane jobs of life.
The Simplicity Of Prayer And Worship – God created the simplest system of all for us to be in contact with Him.
Pray For Your Enemies – Like forgiving praying for your enemies is a good idea.
Relationships
Men, Woman And Love – Some thoughts on this complex area of life for human beings.
Dating – Some tips.
Physical and Non-Physical Relationships – Some advice for those wanting true love.
The Wholesome Way – Example of getting together the wholesome way.
The Three Steps To Heaven – Three steps that show you how to find true love.
Defining Love – About love and what it is.
Dealing With People
Have Sympathy For Other People – Be sensitive to peoples feelings.
Encouragement – Encourage people with love.
Small Talk – Tips on getting a conversation going.
You Choose Place To Debate Issues – Being prepared for debating issues with other people.
You Cannot Control Everything – Accept that you cannot have full control of everything and be happy about it.
Greet Everyone Enthusiastically – Be popular and make friends this way.
Give People Room To Breathe – Give people time to digest what you are trying to tell them.
Compassion – Seeing people differently and having compassion for them.
How To Be Popular. Learn To Like All People – Learning to like people has its benefits.
Stop, Listen, Think, Then Reply – Learning not to interrupt when another person talks.
Saying Goodbye Is Never Easy – Learning to move on.
Toxic – Polluted Lives – Pollution In The Mind Or Home – Mind Abuse – Mind & Physical Abuse
The Phases – Your PPS and how it helps you develop into the new person you want to be.
What Do You Deserve – About people who don’t believe that they deserve much.
How A Child Can React To Pain – The affects of bad events on children and how they can deal with it mentally.
The Guilt Doctor And Patient – How you can be seduced by the Guilt Doctor.
The Push Pull Effect – Push a person away and often they will come straight back into your arms.
Break The Cycle – End the cycles of unhappiness in your family.
Some Other Bad Habits – Tips and advice on other bad habits.
Violence And Why It Is Used – Understanding why people use violence as a punishment.
Negative, Positive And Arrogant Critics – How they do you harm and ways to get rid of them.
Who Did It – How to prove that you are not to blame for your lack of confidence.
The Love Smothers – The person who clings to their partner in love, smothering them with love.
Family
The Family Unit – A discussion about the family unit and its worthiness.
Wow – Is This My Family – Some family advice.
Children Are You – Seeing your children as they really are to you personally.
Children Are A Gift – Appreciating children and what they need from you, their parents.
We Rule Over Our Children’s Paths As Well – Our responsibilities as parents and guardians.
Children’s Activities – Activity ideas for children and advice.
Children’s Hobbies – Hobby ideas for children and advice.
Gender & Books – Children need Girls & Boys books.
Peace In The Home – Allotting the family chores out to all members & everyone sharing the load.
The Future – You And The Future – The Future You – Your Future Aims
The Future – Preparing for the future now.
Eyeing Up The Future – Dealing with wanting items that we cannot have yet.
The Future You – Who you want to aim to be.
Your friends Network – An international group of connected friends.
A Free Resource Of Information Just Waiting To Be Tapped Into – Help from the elderly.
Your Personal Motivational Book
The Grateful List. –
The Gratitude List –
Small Gems – Those precious moments you don’t want to forget.
Life’s Events – A list of all your positive life events.
Places I Have Been – Photos of all those wonderful places that you have visited or lived at.
Daily Motivational Prayers – A template for the prayers in your average day.
Treasure Box – A place to hold all those special physical memories.
Survival Toolbox
The Grateful Toolkit –
Positive Image Toolkit –
Faith Toolkit –
The Buying Toolkit –
The Clearing Your Mind Toolkit –
Personal Control Toolkit –
The Fitness Toolkit –
The Health Toolkit –
The Organized Toolkit –
Positive Environment Toolkit: –
Negative Mind Talk.
One of the things that I went through years ago was the removing of negative thoughts, or at least refusing to accept them and have them be a part of my life. The interesting thing is that if these negative thoughts don’t play a part in your life as much as they once did then you are left wondering who you and what life means to you now.
Please accept that your mind is not totally in your control if you were never taught how to be confident, mature and courageous – if you have coping issues it is a mind problem of some sort – this is not your fault, this came from somewhere else. The mind wanders, it can come up with good and bad thoughts, good and bad desires, good and evil thinking, and wild imaginings, especially when fueled by devious minded people. Once you realise that there are thoughts in your head that are not yours then you can fight the battle. What is needed is that you gain control of your mind from everyone else, and from the negative thoughts in your head.
One of the things that I did was fight those thoughts with positive self talk that denied the negative thoughts.
The opinion of yourself, your past, and your worth, and what you hear in your own head comes from your upbringing, from your parents, from your education, and from abuses and achievements. If this is negative it will badly affect your health eventually. This is why we need to break free. We also deal with how the past affected us in many different ways, and please always keep in mind that each person is different.
We have a lot of thinking, deciding, working out, logical thoughts, and such which are a great benefit to our day and lives, the mind is such a blessing. But there can be a lot of completely unnecessary self talk chattering around in your head minute by minute causing you to lose focus on what is important and to build mountains of fears and worries from mole hills. I have witnessed families where one of the parents is completely going crazy from nothing, a small worry that this person has allowed to grow and grow in their mind until it affects all their relationships and upsets work, and also keeps that person’s mind from the important things that they should really be thinking about. If the mind is being denied the happy positive thoughts then the person will be unhappy and depressed because all that is left in the mind is unhappiness. This is why people say to focus on the good that can happen instead of focusing on the bad that you are scared might happen, but there is very little reality of what you fear will really happen.
It is a fact that a person cannot be happy, planning, enjoying self-love, or love with others if one is personally tormented in their own mind. An awakening is needed, a moment of understanding that you are innocent, and that you can break free from this and have a happy life that you will be pleased about.
We humans are creatures of habit, and habits can become comforting, even life destructive habits like smoking cigarettes or abusing drugs and alcohol. So we can also see that negative thoughts can become so repetitive and common that we become so used to them that we feel that they are a comfort to us. For instance you fail, make a mistake, other people call you foolish, and so eventually you agree with them. They must be right you think, you are only one, they are many, so you must be a fool. In time as you do the same foolish things that other people do you comfort yourself by self abuse – you don;’t see or think about other people making the same mistakes, no. You only think of yourself making the mistakes. You can say to yourself, “There you go again stupid, when will you ever learn!” and obviously you believe fully and completely that you will never learn. These are the cycles that must be broken, and they will only be broken once you recognise that they are there, and that there is a big possibility that family and friends put them in your head in the first place.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
2004.
One of the reasons I am so happy that I have dated my documents, is that when people say hateful things about me, the items say from 2007, or 1997, show me that my mind was right, that even though I was foolish at times, made mistakes, that I am and never was the man who the liars claim that I am, and even if I die alone in my home I know that I know who I am even if others don’t, its a good thing to be sure of yourself, sure of your decency, honesty, values and faith in God.
Never Learn Not To Love
Many people only “connect” the word love with a man and woman, or the relationship between a parent and child. But Love is a deep emotional feeling that God has for you and this is the word that ‘God is about’. God is love. You may think that it is impossible to “learn not to love”, but this is not true. If you have a hard life you can become bitter and be filled with hatred.
There are other ways to learn not to love. One is if you replace love with something else. Greed, selfishness, cravings, can take the place of love in your life. You can convince yourself that you can live the way that you are, but you will be missing the wonderful gift that God has given us all. Physical objects can be used as substitute for love. Even images can be used in place of real true love. As long as you hope or feel that a need is filled then you think that life is alright without real love. You may even feel a dislike for loving relationships due to a past experience.
So you see a person can learn not to love. A man or woman can think that he or she knows what love is but they really don’t know what love is. Where you taught not to love through other people or events during your life? We have an image of the word love when we are children. This childhood image is either correct or not far from the real truth. This is one of the reasons that children often have difficulty understanding decisions that are made by parents. Often to a child love is a different thing and he or she cannot understand why adults do the things that they do especially if they do something that does not show love like harm a child or another adult for selfish reasons.
The love the child knows can be lost with time and events. Living with a parent or parents who think mainly of themselves will help destroy the child’s view of love and there is a very strong chance that the child will end up with the version of love that the parent has. And when this child grows up and has children the cycle will continue.
This is one of the reasons that a person needs to keep thoughts of God in his or her heart. We must remind ourselves through the hard times that God is there. Once you realise that God is love then you can only know that God wants happiness and love for you. Fear, unhappiness etc., are not of God.
Some people may have to teach themselves to love again. That is what being reborn is about. learning again. Being as a baby or child. Starting again. Your mind needs to be reborn so it can start again.
What is love? Love is that wonderful feeling that a person has for all things. Love is an appreciation for all that is here on Earth. We can love our enemies because we know that they have been led astray and each and everyone needs your love and help to become new again.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Wednesday, 24 January 2007, 11:34:48 pm.
Jesus lived as an example of what love is, unconditional courageous manly yet gentle, honest and true love. His attitude was based on the love of God. To love our wives as Jesus loved the people is to love them with honesty, meekness, being gentle, forgiving, quick to apologize, quick to make things right again after a mistake.
To love and honor her for her sacrifices for him and their own children, for her cooking, for her love, childbearing, compassion and generous nature.
When love is the glue that holds two people together, then the relationship is based on two people who are the best of friends who deeply care about the life, condition and heart of the other. It couldn’t get better. Peace reigns in the home that has two forgiving passionate souls who want to be with the other for the rest of their lives.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Friday, 21 February 2020, 10:42:38 am.
When I was part of the Role Players Group on Facebook they (all young adults except me) proudly said that they would discuss any matter on the planet as they all saw themselves as intellects, but when I mentioned God they all freaked out and got very upset, and then they said, any subject other than God and Religion.
This may seem as act of evil on their behalf’s, but do consider that God has been given a bad reputation for 150 years by religious people, thus the modern non-believer thinks that God is a religious belief, a Bible, but not a spiritual Living God.
But in no way should a person not be allowed to share their beliefs anywhere. And if opposing beliefs exist we should still be allowed to share our beliefs, its only fair.
Years ago when that shop refused to make a wedding cake for a lesbian couple, they got shut down (as I remember it) and on the news a lesbian group actually backed up the shop and not the lesbian couple that got it shut down, because the Lesbians said that the shop had the right to say yes or no, and if they took off the rights of the shop owners then they would one day take the rights of everyone.
In NZ the minorities have been waging and winning wars for years due to inclusion, no majority, and that may seem right, but the rest of the nations should not have to be forced to do something that just a minority of people demand of them.
And always please remember, stand up for yourself.
The neighbours all going to be gossiping, Marlee’s car is parked in my driveway this morning.
I think it has worked out to be a few days now if they are still working on their kitchen today. Its taking them a long time to finish it.
I asked James, Marlee’s husband, and he said that it would take a few days to do.
James and Marlee are very private people, so it must be weird for them to have their house invaded by tradies fixing it up.
I went through this in the 1990s as a single dad of two daughters.
Back then it was all set up for women only, thus the only place to change nappies was in the women’s place set aside for mothers and babies, don’t remember what it was called, but men were not allowed in there, so men had no where in town to change their daughters or sons nappies, and i would have to drive home if the girls needed to go to the toilet when older.