My Walk With God
My Christian walk, or should I say my walk with God, started about two years before I went to church. I got a Good News Bible and I read the Bible and understood the Bible as I read it. I did a lot of fasting, and I did a lot of reading, and I did a lot of praying, and I came up with many different reasons why this and that happened in the Bible with God’s help.
It was at this time that I was doing the 11 km walks and I took a notebook with me, and I wrote whatever came to mind, so as I walked I would pray and then I would ask God what something I was curious about meant and then further on the walk I would get an idea what it meant, all this was done without a church.
I got to understand God in a way that it had nothing to do with being taught in the church.
This was about 2003. When I went to church about 2004, the pastor preached stuff that I had no idea about and totally didn’t believe. I was totally convinced in 2003 that Jesus was just a Prophet the same as the other prophets and I also had other beliefs that had nothing to do with what the church believed. I was very shocked to find out they thought Jesus was coming down on the horse when I really knew Jesus was long dead and was never coming back. I was very shocked that they thought Jesus was God I came home that day and I checked on the Internet and to my horror I discovered most of the churches believe that Jesus was God and they claim the church and the Bible told them so but the Bible says there are no other gods than I, only God, so making Jesus into a God was blasphemy.
I persevered at church, got baptize,d that the church didn’t believe in spiritual matters, which I thought was really weird, because it’s clear in the Bible that Jesus was spiritual, many say more spiritual than physical, so that being the case why didn’t this churches support spiritual matters. I found out that the Mormons support spiritual matters to some degree and so did the Catholics but I was going to a Baptist church and they didn’t.
I was still going for my long walks still praying still asking God for answers, and I was still constantly getting different answers to what the pastor was preaching. We had our mens Bible study, and the pastor said every word of the Bible the KJV was God’s word, but I said, in front of everybody, that the italics in the KJV were added and they were, the pastor and an uneducated man was furious with me for making him look silly in front of everyone else.
The pastor and I ended up having a lot of arguments. I was heavily into positive thinking looking at the bright side he was heavily into you are damned you going to hell, you’re filthy you’re scum, so we didn’t see eye to eye. I kept wanting the church to be a bright and cheerful happy place he wanted it to be a gloomy place where everyone was submissive and do as they were told, in other words obeyed him.
Struggling with this I continued then one day he asked me to do a message which is a sermon. They call it a “messaging” so you are not on the equal level of the pastor as he does a sermon. He asked me to go to a website on the Internet and buy sermons and then preach that to the congregation, but I didn’t want to do that, so I wrote my own sermon something I’d never done before, and on the night I preached the sermon the congregation was in tears any of the people in tears they were all nodding their heads, and they were all very grateful for what I said as I was speaking from my heart.
I was a nervous wreck doing this.
The pastor was furious because I had reached congregation the way he never reached anyone because he bought a sermons he didn’t preach from the heart, he didn’t know how what the others were going through and didn’t care.
I surmise that God probably send me to the church to help the pastor learn to be a people’s person instead of being so cold-hearted. One day I had lunch with the pastor and his family and the pastor was yelling at his wife like she was a slave, he was very narcissistic and she obeyed imperfectly.
Years later at the library I met his wife and their children and the wife had a go at me and said I was proud and arrogant and I said to her she should be her husband’s talking board, meaning he should be able to talk to her or give advice of her and help from her. She was shocked. She had no idea she could help her husband in that way but sadly from that, she became like him she started bullying people around the church if they didn’t do what her husband wanted.
It’s a strange world when you try to help people and the more you help them the more nasty they get toward you and a lot of people want to bully you when you are nice to them or help them they see this as weakness, and they decide they want to hurt you more, very sad.
I ended up leaving the church after 11 years, there were many arguments and many other people left really good people the pastor just keep pushing everyone out who is a threat to him and he was scared to take the church off and so he would get rid of them.
When Facebook I had 5000 friends and over 3000 followers the church the pastor and his wife all demanded I get rid of Facebook, because I was scared are the congregation would want me instead of the pastor because I was popular, and because of that the Pastor sent messages to all the other churches in the New Zealand and told them that I was a bad person and all sorts of stuff and in the church when they had meetings with the church members back stabbing me in the back and character assassinating me and in the end church members told me I was proud and arrogant and I should leave the pastor alone and get rid of Facebook, I stayed a few more years and then decided it was time to leave and I never went back.
At one stage that pastor came to my house after I had left, trying to get me to come back, and when I wouldn’t, with another pastor from America and they told me that the God I prayed to was Satan. So I never did go back.
People told me on Facebook that I was helping them that I was helping with their lives that I was comforting them giving them new ideas helping you with add them adapt in life, and helping them become better people, and helping them understand God. This touch my heart deeply and I was very happy about it.
One day I posted on the Facebook Christian Church which I was the admin of and I got a comment from a black American who woke up that morning pulled out of pistol was gonna blow as brains out, he said he had on its head the thought popped in and said go to Facebook, he saw what I wrote and he said to me that I gave them hope again and he put the gun down put it away and decided to try again and he thanked me for giving him hope to live again.
At other times I helped people who are going to commit suicide and I would stay on the keyboard for hours trying to talk him out of it and I never lost anybody, it always worked out, but I did a lot of praying and asking God for help to go through that and to succeed in the person trying to continue their life and start again.
I was also told after many people died by their families that I helped them that I gave them home gave them help dealing with their upcoming death, I helped them get through life and enjoy life and have hoped that when they died because they had terminal illnesses that they would be in a better place and the churches weren’t able to help them, and they told me that I could and I was helping them, and after they died family members would tell me they were grateful for what I did. The amazing part was I didn’t even know that were dying, I just wanted everyone to believe that when they did die it would be a great thing, not a sad thing, not a bad thing and moving on to a new life.
It was because I was reaching people and helping them and life is better for them that I felt that I was working for God in a far more personal way than the churches code, I wasn’t taking money, and I was reaching out with my heart trying to help people have better lives and I felt I really did that, so when I lost Facebook I was deeply saddened.
When the pastor’s wife told me to leave Facebook, I told her that I was helping people not commit suicide and she said something like so she should still leaves Facebook and I said don’t you want me to help people and she said leave Facebook. So all she cared about was her husband’s ministry which was of a very tiny church and very few people. Today he doesn’t run the church anymore he was just terribly unsuccessful.
One day my Facebook account was attacked people got long to wait I got it back about 34 hours later, and Facebook told me that I had a gone on to terrorists websites on Facebook and they saw that as bad action so they shut down my hugely successful Facebook account. Prior to that Facebook it shut down the inspirational quotes page which was reaching about 5 1/2 million people a month which I was running and others pages of mine. What I was curious about was how come Facebook head terrorists websites or accounts.
So after a loss Facebook which was from 2007 to about 2022, I wrote on the Internet via my websites then I shut down one of my websites, and use the other website and that’s the only website I work on now, I don’t have any social media and I hoped I was helping people around town I felt that I was reaching them. But I it appears this is the end of my ministry now my health is going downhill very steadily so I don’t think I’m gonna be doing this for much longer.
Due to the character assassination my financial life, losing my job, losing my ministry on the Internet, and now my health going downhill, I will probably lose my home soon and then I’m not sure what will happen for me.