Helping People grow!

I was just thinking a little while back about a period of time in my life when I could have done something with my life but I was feeling helpless, somewhat lost, and defeated, and in this unconfident mental state I knew that I should do something, but I didn’t. I felt that it was a waste of time, not worth attempting and that life for me was a joke of unhappiness and continuous torture.

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Feeling more positive about life now, and looking back, I can easily see what I should have done back then and also how being positive back then would have made a lot of difference to how I feel today and how I live today. In other words there would have been a lot of advantages today if I had not been so depressed in the past. We must always remember that what we do today affects our life in the future. Like growing a garden, we need to prepare the way by feeding the plants well, keeping them in a good environment, and helping them weather the storms until they bloom.

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Depression makes us feel defeated, and in that mental state we become easy victims for own self-destruction. We listen to the negative thoughts in our minds, we replay the negative little movies of our (we can make this far worse in our minds than they really are) miserable life or miserable scenes of how we will fail if we try anything, we tell ourself often that, “Why bother trying, it will never work out, not for me anyway…”

When depressed we give up far too early, and we allow people to push us around because we believe that we don’t deserve much in life, so we have no desire to try to gain more in life.

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Depressed people will often accept sex or a relationship from people who they never would have gone near if they were feeling positive and excited about life.

Depressed people can lower their expectations of life, love and happiness, and will simply accept all the misery that comes their way without much of a fight, and they will see opportunities as something other people have, and/or they will see the opportunities as a negative and not a positive.

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In that depressing mental state we lose, and we lose over and over again every day we continue in that negative mental state. Depression works on us hoping to destroy us, and this is done ever so slowly at times, and often it creeps up on us and we have no idea how we became depressed and miserable in the first place.

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Depression eats away at our hopes and dreams and leaves a person who is a shell of the person that they used to be.

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Depression also affects us physically and it shows as we adjust our life to suit the new miserable mental state that we are in. Some people eat too much, some eat too little, some party, some abuse drugs, and some sleep too much fearing the world and not wanting to participate in it anymore.

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Understanding what is happening to our mind, our body and our own life helps us recognise that something is wrong, and that changes need to happen before something really negative happens.

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If we are kinder to ourself, and we recognise a mistake, a fail etc, “as an experience that will teach something” then we will hurt ourself less, and be far more positive and productive with our life.

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A deeper and gentle understanding of our past without self-blame and self-condemnation brings us to an understanding of how we were reacting to our life and the people that we knew.

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Everything can change for the better from today onwards if we take up the challenge and make a forgiving, loving, honest approach to our life from today onwards, and we refuse to allow the negative thoughts and negative feelings, and negative people to influence our life anymore. Please take back your own life. You were made to be courageous!

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All the best from James M Sandbrook.

3-7-2015.