Example:
My father was into drug, alcohol and woman abuse. He was not there for me, only for himself. He lived as he saw fit and had an instant temper. When I was younger I decided I did not want to do drug abuse, nor abuse women, nor have Dad’s character and I worked at being different from him. It was an ongoing, but successful effort in many ways.

Years later I got angry at home, and my wife told me that I was “just like my father” a comment she knew would upset me and make me angry. But I hesitated, because a motivator once said that when people criticize us sometimes there may be some truth in it, and I realised that my father had a terrible temper and I had just lost my temper so once again I had discovered that I was unconsciously copying another of my fathers bad habits.

I never liked my father, and one day I realised that if he were walking down the street I would not have made friends with him as I didn’t like who he was and I would never make friends with someone who was like him, so I demanded of myself to be the opposite of him.
Since my father often lied I demanded of myself that I would not be a liar. Since my father was pro drug abuse I demanded of myself that I be against drug abuse, and so on.

Also my father often looked a prideful fool to others, but to himself he felt that he was a great man who was always right. I vowed to never fool myself like that.