Good Character means good behaviour in the sense that we are doing what makes us feel good about our life, our health, our activities, and our beliefs and we stand strong on what we believe in.

People who are mature and have good character strive to be strong, healed of the past, and they desire to make the world as a whole a better place for all.
But they are also wise enough to know that they must first start with their own lives before they can really help others and the world.

What we do can affect how we think of the world, and how we think of ourselves. So we must be always aware that those people with us, and around us, can drive us into their weaknesses and we become what they are.
Also in marriage it is important that we are of the same mind, equally yoked, of the same beliefs and wants, so that one cannot drag the other down into their pit of darkness that was not readily seen when we first married.
Sometimes time shows us who people really are.

One of the women I went with introduced me to something I didn’t want to do as I saw that it was immoral and I felt somewhat indecent.
But she convinced me that I was being a fussy person and was not giving life a real chance and she wanted to introduce me into enjoying this new experience.
I gave in after some persuasion over a period of time. Probably because I didn’t want her to feel that if she liked it or wanted it, I didn’t want to let her down and I didn’t want to seem to her to be a boring prude.

For a while we participated and I was part of it, the pleasure was nice, but I was always left empty and feeling hollow afterwards.
The more I tried to move away from it the more she wanted to continue and then offer other new “experiences” now that she had broken ground with me and lowered some of my boundaries.
The experience to me showed that when we are not equally yoked with someone who is not of the same mind as we are then we end up being convinced that we have issues (when in reality we want to be a good decent person) and that we should let our hair down and be more “open-minded”.

Open-Minded means being open to their immoral and indecent acts and then becoming a part of what they do, want, desire and even demand, getting used to it until it becomes a part of our normal everyday life and we have no regrets doing it and can even defend it when other people who were as we once were question its value in a person/couples life.

It got to the stage where the more I did this the more I disliked myself.
I didn’t dislike her more because I finally came to the conclusion that “this was her” she couldn’t help what she was and what she refused to change, but I could.

A person should never ;lower themselves, even f they have addictions and such, to the lower value that another person makes themselves. In relationships like marriage one can convince another to do things that they shouldn’t do, and when they give in they self dislike because of it. This is should never happen.If you have a weakness or addiction your lover should help you get help to remove it, not encourage it.

What happened to me was I came to a stage where I couldn’t do it any more and I would feel sickened, disappointed in myself, unhappy and I felt dirty, unclean, unhealthy, and miserable, so badly that I ended up doing a lot of crying.The crying was a natural reaction to a weakness having control over us.
We have a weakness, our partner knows this and encourages the weakness instead of helping us remove it, and over time it becomes “normal”, but we are always feeling guilty within. Our lover may claim that it is normal, that everyone is doing it, that it is making us both happy, and that we should be happy that we have an understanding lover who will go this low for us to satisfy the weaknesses that we have.

But all this is just them trying to get us to enjoy a weakness that they have and like for their sake, and they try to come off as honourable and good, and having our back while they keep the weakness going.

I eventually just got sick and tired of being unhappy with myself, I hated feeling dirty, unclean, unhappy and it had to stop even if it broke us apart. Tired of crying and being weak I demanded of myself that it must stop and told her so.
It never happened again, but only because I became fiercely upset at myself, how weak I had been and how I was demanding of myself to be a better man than what I had been.

We eventually went our own ways, and I became more aware of the grooming process an immoral “open-minded” partner can put a person through to make them weak like them and then participate in activities that shame us, make us feel indecent, and we dislike ourselves because of it.

Love does not involve a continuation of indecency, addictions, weaknesses, or drive us to dislike ourselves and self hate.

Love heals us on every level. So if what have with your partner is making your character worse and is not facing and healing the past then it is not love, and you will never become better for it, you will just slide downhill, your mental, moral, physical, and emotional health sufferings because you are being groomed away from who you were born to be.

If we have a strong moral foundation, and we are conscious of what we are doing, how we treat ourselves and others, the world will be a far better place for us all.

All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
22nd of May, 2021.