Because of our upbringing in society (not because of any fault of your own) we can be insecure.
Insecure people don’t have good romantic relationships.
They tend to struggle with trust and they are anxious that they may not be loved, or that their partner is looking elsewhere for love and sexual happiness.
This anxiety can cause the relationship to split up in the most saddest way. Both partners at a loss for words to explain the misery that they have been through our what went wrong. Both feeling that the other is the cause for the split-up.
Some people can become a form of in-house stalker. They are always checking up on the other. He or she can be jealous, needy, sees an innocent conversation as flirting, is clingy, feels that the other is not paying he or she enough attention, and some want all the partners free time spent on them.
Some people feel that their happiness is dependent on their partners attention towards them. If they feel that they are not getting the correct amount of attention (according to their own view) then their happiness starts to suffer. This leads to more insecurity, sometimes arguments and negativity.
If you don’t give the correct amount of attention according to your insecure partners view then you become (in their mind) “not a good boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife”. You fall short of the insecure persons idea of what you should be as a romantic partner.
People who are insecure tend to say things that hurt the relationship, or may say things that are accusations because they feel insecure about themself and about the relationship.
If we have relationship issues then it is wise to consider that it may be ourself that is the cause of our problems to some degree. And then from this knowledge we can work at making changes to our own personality so that our relationships will be more stable and able to withstand the storms of life.
First thing to do is focuse on you, your environment, the 5 closest people to you who influence you the most. You have got to see things as they are, and see people how they have really affected your life. Only seeing the truth will set you free.
Many people who started self-help thinking that they were not the problem in the relationship, and after learning more about people, about life, about relationships, about how other people can influence our childhood etc, they can discover that he or she had “issues” that need dealing with, and until they are dealt with their relationships will fail.
An understanding partner makes all the difference. Someone who wants to see their love get through this is indeed a great help. This is what love is all about. An understanding partner knows that they both win with self-improvement.
Remember. If your relationship is struggling instead of pointing out the other persons faults, work on your own character. Be honest to yourself about your habits and opinions. Please be humble. They goal is to change for the better, not let our pride fight change.
It is a wise thing to do when we improve our own character, remove past baggage, and inspire ourself to greater things.
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Thursday, 10 September 2015, 12:51:16 PM.