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If you think that you are being stalked by someone, think first, as you may be accusing an innocent person. Be logical, and if you have evidence, and the events are not coincidences-gossip, see the Police, get it sorted out to avoid a dangerous situation.
Years ago I was asked by a woman friend to speak to a male about him stalking her. I listened to what she said but I was not convinced of his guilt at all. Her main claim was that he had made a play for her years ago at some social occasion, and he was upset that she turned him down, and now when she was walking home from town every afternoon from work she would often see him somewhere behind her down the street and she was sure that the reason was that he was after her, to seduce her or something.
She was at the stage where she was becoming hysterical because it had happened often according to her and she was now anxious and panicky, yet felt that she did not have enough evidence to take to the Police for an official complaint.
Still not convinced I agreed to talk to him.
So one day at the time that she walked home I waited on the street and sure enough he appeared. I reluctantly confronted him (reluctantly because I didn’t think he was at all guilty) and he told me that he had lost his car license and that this was the time he walked home from work everyday.
I explained the situation to him and asked him to please avoid her if he could and then she would calm down.
He was happily married. He was surprised, confused and readily agreed to avoid her. After that she never saw him behind her again.
I think he was just terrified of some female’s claim of stalking and he either went another way or got a ride home in a car with someone else from that day onwards.
Being accused of being a stalker can be a very frightening thing to a male because of the damage to his reputation, life, family life, wife, work and so on. Its not simply some person making claims of being stalked, it can go on for many years causing the person accused much misery unearned shame, and being badly treated and people not trusting the accused ever again, while the accuser gets all the favorable attention and help, support, and walks on with no baggage or little from the experience.
If you think you are being stalked, please ask yourself:
Has he emailed you?
Has he ever talked to you?
Has he rung you up on the phone?
Has he used social media to contact you?
When was the last time he talked to you?
When was the last time that you saw him face to face anywhere?
Does he directly follow you and are there witnesses, or are you in fact in his path from time to time?
Is there a chance that you are in his path, like do you live down the road from him and he has to pass your house for many reasons, like to go shopping, exercise, work and so on?
Another point is, is the gossip and accusations come from other people feeding your mind, like from haters? Or is an actual fact clear to you, is this a common thing, then tell the Police, get it sorted.
I remember at home as a boy, I had 6 sisters, and a mother on welfare, and my mother getting upset about something that to me was completely imaginary. My sisters were brought into mothers hysteria/excitement and they would also get caught up in it, with me watching on thinking, “There is nothing to this!” and staring in wonder how something could be made into something and then a group of women losing the plot over it. Instead of mother controlling the situation she tended to cause it or accelerate it, and of course her daughters would follow mothers call, and her behaviour. All it takes in a family for one person to be mentally struggling for the rest to catch on and they will all start seeing things that don’t exist as well.
I became aware years ago that if a person went past a house for years people would smile and be nice to that person. But if a person was told that the person passed her house because he was stalking her, she all of a sudden noticed him every day, growing anxious and becoming more afraid each day.
People won’t barely notice a person unless someone points that person out and says something bad about that person, and then, with no proof that persons is now victimized and unfairly treated and caught up in a Character Assassination by panicky insecure people.
I would like it that if a person made accusation about someone stalking her, she should be assessed mentally to see if she is insecure, on medication, interviewed by a psychiatric professional, and it is ruled out that her insecure mind has not make a mountain out of nothing. This is not interfering with her rights or privacy, after all, she is making claims that are interfering in another persons rights and privacy, and if that person can be investigated then it seems fair that the accuser should be looked in to to make sure that an innocent person is not being falsely accused by a vain insecure member of the public who has some mental issues.
Through these kinds of experiences I discovered to my amazement that people can imagine anything with very little evidence, and then the rest of the “evidence” is their own imaginations going overtime and causing fear, worries, anxiety etc to feed on itself escalating the situation into something that it never was. We should be mindful of what we think, what others think, do and say, and be careful because we don’t want to be shoved around mentally like a wave on the ocean by every strange thing told to us until what once seemed strange has now in our mind become a reality. The mind is mighty powerful and convincing when it becomes afraid, anxious etc.
Another point is looking at what the Accuser receives by Playing the Victim, if in fact that is what the person is doing.
Attention, friendship, sympathy, possibly money and people taking the supposed victim under their wing and helping her, and also it can become a habit, as the results of people thinking that she is a victim can cause a desire to keep receiving friendship, and a lot of attention, opportunities and such. Some people are insecure enough to want to keep such a situation going for a long time as the benefits are many.
Also Playing the Victim can be a situation where someone just wants to take revenge or to hurt someone out of spite, or if she were refused a relationship she decides to ruin his life.
Please be careful when you are told that someone is being stalked as you may be helping out a Character Assassination, while on the other hand be sure to make sure the person who claims to be stalked is safe from any harm. You can ensure that someone is safe without attacking the other person. But do, please, get Both Sides of the Story, Both versions of the Events.
Some people can be so insecure that when someone is trying to help them they think that is a desire for a certain relationship when in reality it is merely to help the other person out of a tough spot. People can read us wrong and think that we have bad intentions, especially if they are told that we do, and they react on that misinformation.
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