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My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said,

“Would you like to say the blessing?”

I wouldn’t know what to say,” she replied.

“Just say what you hear Mommy say,” my wife said.

Our daughter bowed her head and said: “Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”

Creed: “a set of beliefs or aims which guide someone’s actions.” In the past people, churches and the like would have a written creed of which everyone was expected to abide by

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.”

His son asked, “What happened to the flea?”

Creed: “a set of beliefs or aims which guide someone’s actions.” In the past people, churches and the like would have a written creed of which everyone was expected to abide by.

 

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.

Little Tommy, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, “Tommy, what is the matter?” Little Tommy responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”

 

The New Guy The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. “What is your name?” was the first thing the manager asked the new guy. “John,” the new guy replied. The manager scowled, “Look… I don’t know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only… Smith, Jones, Baker… That’s all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?” The new guy sighed, “Darling. My name is John Darling.” “Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . .”

Wake up keen to get into the new day. Decide to be happy before you wake up! See the new day as a new adventure. See the new day as a time to right wrongs. See the new day as a time for reflection and change. See the new day as new opportunities yet to be found. See the new day as an opportunity to make new friends. See the new day as a chance to look for new changes in your life and to remove old things that are not working for you any more.
 
All the best from
James M Sandbrook.
Aug 18, 2018 2:22pm

“Jill,” a teacher reprimanded the teenager in the hall, “do you mind telling me whose class you’re cutting this time?” “Like,” the young teen replied, “uh, see, okay, like it’s like I really don’t like think like that’s really important, y’know, like because I’m y’know, like I don’t get anything out of it.” “It’s English class, isn’t it?” replied the smiling teacher.

‘Until you change your thinking you will always recycle your experiences’. Seems to mean to me that until we stop thinking the same way we will always reap the results of our current thinking (that we won’t change). Doing the same thing will always get the same results. ‘If you always do what you have always done then you will reap the same results.’ ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.’

Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Paddy: Seven! Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Paddy: Seven! Teacher: Let’s try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got? Paddy: Six. Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Paddy: Seven! Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven? Paddy: I’ve already got one rabbit at home now!

A mother had a hard time getting her son to go to school. He responded, “Nobody likes me at school. The teachers don’t like me and the children don’t either. The superintendent wants to transfer me, and the bus driver hates me, the school board wants me to drop out, and the custodians have it in for me. I just don’t want to go to school.” The mother insisted. “You’ve got to go. You’re healthy, you’ve got a lot to learn. You’re a leader. Besides you’re forty-nine years old, and you are the principal. – Author Unknown.

 

There was a story of the school boy who had done no work whatever and was trying to pass an examination from a junior school to a more senior school. He found himself faced with questions, no one of which reminded him of anything; so he wrote across his answer book, “God knows, I don’t,” and as the examination was in December he finished off “Merry Christmas.”

His work was returned and the examiners marked “God passed; you didn’t. Happy New Year!” – C. Northcote Parkinson.

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