Take a word for instance. If we understand that word wrong, then in our misunderstanding of that word, we will react to it wrong.
I once called a young lady a “bambino” and because she misunderstood the word “bambino” she had a fit at me. When she calmed herself down I explained that it is Italian for “baby” or “infant”.
She thought that bambino was an insulting rude word. I wasn’t insulting her, I was talking to her sisters in Italian (I was learning). My intentions were good.
During our lives most of us want to get on with people. We want to be nice to people because we want them to be nice back to us, and it feels good to be nice to people.
One of the rules of life is that we will never be able to keep everyone we know happy at the same time.
We can try, but the human being tends to think differently than other human beings over the same subject. Our reactions to events are often different to the extent that sometimes we can be surprised at what other people say about something that we all had been involved in.
We need to accept that no matter how hard we try people will get upset at us and sometimes conflicts will be the result.
If we avoid conflict then we are not dealing with the reason for the conflict.
I remember times when a person would get upset over something that they thought that I had said, or that they had imagined, or something false that someone had told them, or something I had done which upset them. I was uncomfortable with their negative reactions. It didn’t feel nice, but once the other person is calm I try to talk to them, giving my views and explanations.
Sometimes I would walk away, but if there is a chance of having my say in a constructive way then I would.
People getting upset at us is them voicing their opinions or views.
Being “nice” to people does not mean that you shouldn’t speak your mind. We shouldn’t misunderstand the word “nice”.
You have every right to your opinion, and you have every right to voice your opinions and views.
You were not born to be pushed around. Your feedback, views, feelings etc are important. Let yourself be heard, let your views be known.
Don’t let the crowd or domineering person stop your voice being heard.
Even if you don’t like the feeling of arguing or conflict you must realise that you will never be happy in your heart if you don’t give your views. And we feel weak if we don’t defend ourself from lies, accusations and attacks.
So do stand up for yourself. Have your say. Let your voice be heard. Your views are just as important as anyone’s.
All the best from James M Sandbrook.
Thursday, 12 September 2013, 2:31:02 PM.